On an unseasonably warm afternoon, I was editing on my computer when I heard a dripping sound. I looked in the bedroom and saw a puddle on the floor. Some karmic retribution. I sent Fritz a text and a few minutes later he came down to check it out. It appeared to be a leak from the AC.

While we were waiting for a return call from the HVAC repair company, I offered Fritz a drink. “I was a bartender in a former life.” Actually, I’d never worked as a bartender. Over the years, I’d noticed that experimenting with cocktail recipes made alcoholics feel better about themselves, as if consuming an alcoholic drink had more to do with the taste than anything else.

“OK. Surprise me.”

I mixed a drink and set it down in front of him on the kitchen counter. “It’s called a Silk Panty martini.”

Fritz’s face colored. He took a sip. His eyes widened, and he took another sip. “You can return to your career as a bartender anytime you want.”

I smiled.

He swished his drink in front of him, in a small circle. “Are you having one?” Then he appeared to read my mind. “You’re not pregnant yet.”

I made myself the same drink, then sat next to him at the counter.

“Here’s to Silk Panties.” He clinked my glass. “It’s delicious, by the way.”

I tried to laugh, but the mood had shifted into something harder to manage.

“Natalie’s so happy that you’ve moved in here,” he said. “I hope she’s not crowding you.”

“Never,” I said. “And you? Are you happy I’m here?”

He took another sip. “Of course I am.” I noticed beads of perspiration on his forehead.

I was wearing a cream-colored dress with a low V-neck. I ran my fingers down my neck and along the neckline of the dress, lingering at the bottom of the V.

Fritz took his glasses off and cleaned them with his T-shirt, a familiar behavior that often seemed to accompany some nervousness on his part. He replaced them on his nose.

Various scenarios ran through my head. Rationally, I understood that sex with Fritz could have negative consequences. Even if Amelia didn’t find out, such an action would complicate my position as the Straubs’ surrogate. Still, my desire persisted. If I had sex with Fritz, I would be separating Amelia and Fritz from each other, just slightly, so that I would have a more primary position with each of them.

“Is there anything I can do for you, Fritz?” I said.

His cell phone rang. It was Amelia calling.

May 14: The embryo transfer took place at Krasnov’s office in the early morning. I was scheduled to return in ten days to find out if I was pregnant.