‘Yes, I’ve brought a new cup and saucer.’ Barb presents me with the parcel she’d had on her lap. I want to laugh. A hysterical laugh. But I might not be able to ever stop again.

‘Oh, great. Thanks.’

I open the box.

World’s Greatest Nanna.

I’m not entirely confident my sigh was only inside my head, but I look at Barb and she’s smiling, so I guess it must’ve been. Now she’s here, I should take the opportunity to do some delving. I half hope Davina knocks on the door. I’d be intrigued to see how Barb would handle that situation.

‘What have you done with your day?’ I wash Barb’s new cup with hot, soapy water as I talk.

‘Oh, this and that, love. My days aren’t exactly filled with events – only the odd coffee morning, and monthly WI meetings, of course.’

‘Ah, so you’ve been stuck at home all day?’ I want her to dig herself a hole. But she sidesteps the question.

‘You haven’t mentioned that you’ve seen Richard for a while. Is it all going south?’ She gives a sympathetic smile. Clearly fake. ‘I expect it’s hard to keep up the momentum when you’re so far away from each other. And beginning relationships purely online must be such hard work. It’s not as though you’ve much to go on, is it? You never really know what you’re getting.’

I’m not in the mood for mind games. Or not Barb’s anyway. Thankfully the boys choose this moment to pile in.

‘Nanna, come and play. We’ve got a cool board game. You’ll love it.’ Leo pulls at Barb’s arm.

‘In a minute, boys. Give me some time with your mum, eh?’

‘Five minutes.’ Leo turns his wrist to look at his pretend watch. ‘That’s all you have then you have to come play.’

‘Here, boys,’ I say, handing each a packet of Maltesers I’ve just bought.

‘Aw, thanks, Mum!’ they say before running into the lounge.

‘I’d have thought you’d seize the opportunity to play with the boys, Barb,’ I say when they’re out of earshot. ‘You know … seeing as you’ve apparently not got long with them.’ I can’t help myself. It grates that she uses the boys as a way of making me feel guilty, and only really wants them when it suits her.

‘And I will play with them. I want to grasp every moment. I only wanted to catch up with you first.’ She smiles and takes a sip of her tea. ‘So? Tell me, Amber, when do I get to meet this enigmatic Richard?’

Sometime never.