‘I’m a fussy eater, actually. That’s one of the reasons I don’t go out to eat much.’ He finally rests his menu down in front of him so I can see his face. ‘The other being … well, I’m a bit agoraphobic. Being in public places makes me highly anxious.’

‘Why didn’t you say that?’ I feel appalled he’s kept this to himself. ‘I thought you just didn’t want to go out with me.’

‘No, I love being with you, silly. But inside, rather than out in the open. With people everywhere.’ He gives a wary look around him and visibly shudders.

‘I’m sorry, Richard. Did you have a bad experience?’

‘Nothing specific, I don’t think.’ He shrugs. ‘Didn’t start feeling like this until I was in my late teens. I manage, mostly. By avoidance.’ He laughs.

‘If you want to go …’

‘No, it’s good for me to go out of my comfort zone. Sometimes. Let’s not make it a weekly thing, though, eh?’

A wonderful, warm feeling bubbles inside me. Earlier, and even just now, he’d given me cause for concern. A reason to doubt him; us. I thought Barb was going to end up being right. But he’s flawed, that’s all. Human; trying to muddle his way through life the best he can, just like everyone else.

I love him. And I really do want to be with him. But the thought of uprooting to go to Eastbourne, even if it’s a step closer, isn’t the right decision for me and the boys. What this evening has cemented is my determination to get to the bottom of the saboteurs and put a stop to them. I want the house sold.

I’m even beginning to come around to the possibility of selling to the developers. Whatever it takes, I want out.

Chapter Forty-Four

Barb

I can’t settle.

I’m flitting from one task to the next, not finishing a single one of them. My mind is hopping from one thought to another; there’s no coherence. I feel as though I have too many balls up in the air at once. I can’t afford to become confused, so I need to make a plan. Give myself targets, goals to achieve. This week has been very stressful. I don’t need it. Not with my high blood pressure. I’d hoped I’d left all the worries behind me long ago, but now things are threatening to overwhelm me.