‘You have a lifetime left, Barb. We will only be a few hours away by train and I’ve told you, you can visit whenever you like. Please don’t act as though I’m taking them away from you – they’re my kids.’

‘Mine too,’ Nick says, quietly.

It’s the first time I see tears in his eyes.

Am I being an awful person by wanting to move away?

Chapter Seven

Barb

‘See what I mean? She’s being unreasonable, Nick. Over-reacting,’ I say, when we’re both in his car heading out of Amber’s road. My road. ‘As she’s prone to doing …’

‘Mum. Don’t start, please.’

‘But, if she hadn’t started all this horrible business, then none of this would be happening, would it? Why don’t you fight it, Nick? Why?’

Nick takes one hand off the steering wheel and rubs it over his face. ‘I’ve been over and over this. Leave it be; it’s not your concern.’

‘It most certainly is my concern.’ I twist sharply in the passenger seat to face him. ‘Those boys are everything to me – all I’ve got …’ I dab a crinkled-up piece of tissue over my cheeks, patting the tears away.

‘Oh, don’t cry, Mum. Tears don’t help anyone,’ Nick says. The pain is clear on his face. I hate seeing him upset.

‘I only want you to be happy. Want us all to be a family again. I don’t understand why you don’t want that, too.’

‘It’s not as simple as you think.’

‘It is simple, Nick. I can help you.’

‘She’s made her decision and I’m not standing in her way. Life’s too short and I’ve enough on my plate.’

‘What exactly do you have on your plate, Nick? Some cold cases that are more pressing than losing your family?’

‘That’s not fair.’

‘I’m sorry,’ I mumble. It was below the belt, and I shouldn’t be taking Amber’s shortcomings out on him. Since she threw him out, he has suffered emotionally. He was only put in charge of cold cases as his superior noticed him struggling at work. Poor Nick, the shock of the separation got to him. No wonder his mind wasn’t as sharp as usual. At least not being on the frontline, as such, means his stress levels are somewhat lower now.

‘It’s okay. I know you worry, but I’m fine. Amber and the boys are fine. And Richard is a good bloke.’

‘How can you be so sure of that? You haven’t even met him,’ I snap. ‘Amber found him on the internet, for goodness’ sake. He could be anyone.’