I feel heat rush to my face. God, no. I don’t want this. ‘I won’t, Nick. Sorry.’ I give an apologetic smile, but, deep down, I’m not sorry. I’m relieved to be moving on. I certainly won’t be going backwards. And how can he even suggest it when he knows what he did? I’m sure whatsherface wouldn’t be too impressed with his offer either. ‘Thanks so much for coming over, though. I really do appreciate it. I didn’t have anyone else to turn to.’ As the words leave my mouth, I know they sound awful and I regret adding that bit. To avoid further awkwardness, I head towards the front door.

‘Oh. I almost forgot again,’ I say as Nick’s about to step outside. ‘The parcel that came for you – it’s here.’ I bend to reach under the hall table. ‘You’ve still not changed your address I take it?’

‘Er … yeah, I have. Must’ve slipped through.’ He frowns as I hand him the brown-paper-covered package. ‘Thanks,’ he says. ‘I’ll let Mum know about the locksmith. I expect she’ll turn up early, so don’t be surprised if she’s at your door before you leave for school.’

‘I won’t be. And thanks again, Nick.’ I’m so close to saying I’m sorry but bite the inside of my cheek to prevent my apology leaving my mouth. I shouldn’t be sorry. The split is not my fault. Nick had ample opportunity to rectify certain things; he had the chance to put our marriage and his boys first. He chose not to; I have to remind myself of that.

I’m not the one who should be feeling guilty.

It was the first night in a while I slept soundly. I didn’t jump at every noise, didn’t get out of bed and check the boys every hour. I did, however, have some very vivid, and very odd dreams. I splash ice-cold water over my face and rub the remnants of the last dream away. Today is a new day. New locks. And Carl is bringing my key back, so I can put my mind to rest that it hasn’t fallen into someone else’s hands – and hopefully, he’ll also bring news of a buyer.

The boys are getting ready for school painstakingly slowly as usual. I flit about in the lounge, making sure everything’s tidy – I don’t want Barb feeling the need to rearrange anything or clean. Heading into the kitchen, I pop the radio on and go to fill the kettle for a mug of coffee.