‘Well, no lunchbox required as it’s a school-lunch day,’ I say. They only have school lunches twice a week, the rest of the time it’s packed lunches. I chose Monday for one of the days as it’s the one I’m least likely to be prepared for after a busy weekend. And then they have one on Thursday as I’ll have generally run out of nutritional – and permissible by the school – items to put in their lunches until I go shopping Thursday evening. ‘And the rest is going to have to wait as I assume Dad will have already left for work.’

‘I didn’t leave it in the car. It’s in my room. You didn’t look properly.’ He pouts and crosses his arms.

‘But you said you couldn’t find it either?’

‘That’s true.’ He puts a finger to his lips and looks up to the ceiling in a “thinking” pose. ‘Well, someone must’ve taken it then,’ he says.

I don’t respond, doing a quick sweep of each room instead. But no backpack.

‘You’ll have to go without it.’

‘I’ll get told off.’

‘No, you won’t. I’ll explain you left it at your dad’s.’

‘But I didn’t, so that’s another lie.’ He’s getting agitated and angry and, in a minute, I’m going to have a crying child on my hands. Then he’ll be late, and distressed, as well as ill-equipped.

‘Look, let’s get to school and I’ll speak with your teacher. I’ll call Daddy on the way,’ I reason with him.

It placates him – at least temporarily. I practically drag both the boys out of the house and, as we walk-jog to school, I dial Nick.

‘Ah, good. Didn’t think I’d catch you before you began work,’ I say, breathlessly.

‘I’m out and about. Fact-finding mission for my latest cold case.’

‘Oh, right. Well, Leo has left his school bag in your car.’

‘No, he hasn’t,’ he responds with no hesitation. ‘He definitely took his bag with him when I dropped the boys back on Friday. Didn’t he give you the letter I gave him? He put it straight into his bag.’

‘No. What letter? And why didn’t you just give it to me instead of giving it to our six-year-old son?’

I hear a deep sigh. I’m not even trying to be awkward, I’m genuinely at a loss as to why Nick didn’t hand it to me when he brought the boys back. Maybe he knew I’d be angry for the whole “taking them without permission” thing and thought it simpler to get Leo to put the letter in his bag. Who knows what goes through a man’s head?