I’ve hoovered three times, washed down all the surfaces in the kitchen even though I’d done it already, bleached the spotlessly clean toilet and put fresh linen on all the beds. I’ve dusted, tidied every single toy away, stored all my crap in bags or boxes and stuffed them under the bed as well as in the space under the stairs – the house is presentable. Yet I’m still faffing about, moving things to a better position, checking each room from differing angles – I’m stressed beyond belief. I can’t wait for this to be over.

‘Can we go, now, pleeeaase?’ Leo says.

‘I need to do one more sweep,’ I tell him.

‘But, Mum! You’ve been doing this ALL MORNING. I’m bored because you won’t let me play with anything.’

‘Okay, okay.’ Poor boy, I have been rather bossy today. I wouldn’t even let either of them on the trampoline. It’s right at the end of the long garden and usually it’s great as I don’t mind them making as much noise as they like because it’s a good distance from ours and the neighbouring houses. The gardens back onto the fields, so their noise doesn’t bother anyone. But it’s been raining, and that end of the garden is also “unloved” as Nick often put it, so tends to get muddy. I couldn’t risk them traipsing mud through the place. ‘Let’s go, then.’ I ruffle his hair and back up towards the front door. ‘Have you used the bathroom since—’

‘No! And Finley hasn’t either. Come on.’

Leo takes my hand and begins pulling it.

‘Where’s Fin?’ I ask.

‘I’m outside!’ I hear him call. ‘I’m too scared to be in there.’

I smile. ‘Sorry, my darlings. It’ll be over soon.’ I really hope this open-house event is a one-off. I realise that until the house is sold, I’m always going to be more jittery about the state of it, but this time it feels a million times worse. Knowing groups of people, rather than just one person, or a couple, will be viewing it, has added an extra level of pressure.

After locking up and walking briefly around the front garden checking for any litter that may have been blown in, we head for Jo and Keeley’s. I turn back a few times before the house disappears from view. God, I hope Davina doesn’t really accept the invitation to go. Despite knowing I’ve tidied within an inch of my life and made sure nothing too personal is on show, I still have a bad feeling she’ll snoop. Carl had better keep a close eye on whoever comes into my home. Do people take these opportunities to steal things? Look at computers?