And she only had Nick. She’d already lost her other son, Tim – he ran away when he was seventeen and was never heard from again – so I was mindful of that. Careful to include Barb in our plans, involve her in the wedding organisation. After Finley was born, something changed; she seemed to soften, becoming more affable. When she offered Nick and me the family house, I knew I’d properly “arrived”; I’d been fully accepted. She liked me; I’d given her a grandchild. She was happy for me to be a part of Nick’s life.

I understand how she must feel now things have changed – like her family is being torn apart again. Me leaving her son after twelve years of marriage and now wanting to leave Devon, is a big blow. We are everything to her. But she must understand life can’t stay the same forever. I am not the person I was when I first met Nick. Nick certainly isn’t who I first fell in love with. Everyone changes over time; that’s life. She’ll have to adapt, too. It’s not like I’m taking Finley and Leo abroad – we’ll be a few hours’ train ride away. She can visit – I’ve made that clear.

Maybe not clear enough.

I turn off the main road and slowly drive through the village. Annoyance makes me grip the steering wheel tightly as my eyes search the pavements for Barb and my boys. Nothing. I’m still banking on them being outside the house, playing on the lawn while Barb sits on the doorstep waiting for me.

I round the corner, turn right at the junction and drive into Apple Grove. The pavement in front of my place is empty, the garden deserted.

I do a quick U-turn and drive back out. Where the hell is she?

The playing field. Finley would’ve begged Barb to take them there, where he could go off to the skatepark and not be seen with his nanna and brother. It’s the only other place I can think she’d go with them.

Squeals from children greet me when I exit the car and hurry to the park gate. I scan the playing field, visually checking off each piece of equipment. I can’t see Leo. All the benches on the perimeter are empty. No Barb. Squinting, I try to see if Finley is at the far end by the skate ramps. There are a group of kids there, but not him, I’m sure.

Bloody hell.