“I was just thinking, earlier…”

“About what?”

“About you, obviously. It’s just…We spend so much time together, Alex. And when we met, I really thought I had you all figured out but now I’m not so sure.” Her lips quirked upwards but it wasn’t into a smile—it was a rather sardonic smirk. A grim one, too. I rarely found myself getting impatient with Julia unless she entered one of her aloof, mysterious moods, when it almost felt like every little thing she did was done on purpose to patronize me—from her pursed lips to her hesitant words. Sometimes I thought she tried too hard to play the impenetrable psychologist. Like now, as she fixed me with a cold, cryptic stare. “Nobody ever gives you shit, do they, Alex?”

“What—what do you mean?”

“In school. Nobody gives you shit for being gay.”

“That’s a bit, well, random. I mean…They do. Obviously. They, you know, whisper and look at me and—”

“That’s not giving you shit. Nobody ever says anything to you. They don’t call you names or slag you off. Nobody steals your books or pushes you around.”

“Well…no…”

“Even when you came out you had it pretty easy. A lot easier than anyone else who’s ever come out as gay in school, I reckon. A lot easier than me. I still get shit, Alex. All these years later and I’m still on the receiving end of everybody else’s insecurity.”

“I know,” I said, gently as I could manage. I scooched up in the bed. “I know they do, and I’m sorry. But think about it—school’s pretty much over now. Just the Leaving to get through and then we’re done.”

I wasn’t entirely sure Julia listened to a word I said. She dug her nails into her palms, closing her hands into tight fists at her sides. “You used to be popular. At first, I figured that was why nobody tormented you the way they would anybody else…But that makes no sense, does it?” Julia shook her head, and there was an anger welling in her eyes that I hadn’t seen before. A wave of silent anger, frustrated and hurt. “Girls love when the popular ones fall from grace. And it just made no sense that they left you alone. I mean—you’re a fucking lesbian, Alex. That’s the worst thing a girl can be in school! And all they did was mutter a few things your way, call you a name or two, and then let you be.”

“But—isn’t that why we came out? You know, show them we didn’t care and that would be it?”

“The girls in my school still gave me shit. But not you. It just…made no sense to me.”

“Are you, like, annoyed or something that I got off too easy? I’m not sure I know what you’re getting at here. Would you have preferred it if, I dunno, someone dunked my head in a toilet, wrote some slur in capital letters on my locker?”

Julia’s forehead creased. “Why didn’t Connie O’Reilly make your life hell?”