“Just because we’re not in school anymore doesn’t mean that things have changed. I’m going to college.”

I shook my head and reached for her hand, clasping it in my own. Whatever self-preservation I still had dissolved into nothing as I spoke gently to her, the desperate edge to my voice quivering in her silent bedroom. “I know that you think you need to go to college, and stay here, and I dunno—marry some guy—but you don’t. You could come with me. Can you honestly say you don’t want that?”

She scoffed derisively and wrinkled her nose. “What about my family?”

“You could lie to them. They’d never have to know.”

“Emily would know. Emily would tell them. We were lucky we got away with it for so long, before. We were lucky last night. But you can’t just expect me to throw everything away on some whimsical hungover scheme of yours.”

“It’s not whimsical and it’s not because I’m hungover—”

“They’d cut me off in a heartbeat.”

“So? You don’t need them. You don’t even like them!”

Hurt flashed in her eyes and her voice trembled. “They’re still my family. I can’t just…leave them. Would you be happy knowing Claire would never speak to you again? Would you be happy being cut off?”

“Claire’s not like that. If—if it was at the cost of my own happiness, yeah, maybe I would. I love Claire but not just because she’s my mam. She’s a good person, a genuinely good person, and she loves me. She’s always been there for me. But you—”

“Don’t.” Connie’s hands scrunched together in her lap. “Don’t start, Alex. You don’t get to lecture me about my family.”

My throat felt as if it was starting to swell under the scathing force of all the frustration I was holding back at that moment. “I’m not lecturing anyone! You’re the one who brought them up, digging for excuses when you’re just trying to take the easy way out!”

“I’m taking the easy way out? You’re running away, Alex!”

“It’s not like that and you know it. I’m doing what’s best for me and it’s not easy. You think leaving my mam and my friends behind is the easy thing to do? Deciding not to go to college like everyone else? The easy option would be to stay here. Follow along with someone else’s plan. Stay here, and let a little part of me wither away with every passing day. That’s what most people do, isn’t it? They stay. And they hate it.” I took another deep breath, willing my heart to slow down “Nothing worthwhile is easy. Connie…you know what you mean to me. I lost you and now, now we could fix it. You’re as much a part of me as my own heart. I know you understand what I mean by that. Before I met you…I was waiting, you know? I was just waiting to find you. Can you honestly say we ought to let this go, again? I didn’t fight for you, before. I knew deep down we had to stop and I didn’t fight it. But we can, now. You don’t need your parents’ money or your friends’ approval.”