It’s a couple of minutes before he replies. If I share it, it wouldn’t be a secret, now would it?

It’s true. But I’m not anyone.

Here I go. I did it again. I’m not a flirt or a tease. There’s just something about this unconventional, unexpected arrangement of ours that’s both exhilarating and freeing. And it makes me say and do things I wouldn’t do in my everyday life.

No, you’re not. But this is one secret I’m not yet ready to share.

Is it something bad? I ask.

Are you asking if I’m wanted by the Police or on the FBI’s Top 50?

Are you?

No. I might make their top 100 though.

I hold my breath. I’m ninety-nine percent sure he’s kidding.

Just kidding. No, it’s nothing bad.

I let go of the breath. We continue talking all through dinner and I make sure to thank him for an absolutely perfect choice.

The dinner is indeed exquisite. The food finger-licking, the wine—though I’m not an expert—a perfect pairing. And with that view and the sun setting over the Pacific Ocean, I find that I’m feeling content and I might even say happy. I’m alone, but not uncomfortable as I’d normally be. And not lonely, although I should be. Because I’m only physically alone. Going from being ‘alone in two’ with David to tonight, it’s like being bumped from coach to first class.

Let’s raise a glass, he texts as the dinner is coming to an end. It’s your birthday after all.

I’ve known for quite a few hours I would’ve loved if he was here with me, but this is the first moment I actually start typing that message to him.

I wish we could toast in person.

I delete it. I write it again. I can’t. It’s just not who I am. And if he wanted to, he would’ve suggested it. He obviously doesn’t want to. I delete it again and push my phone away.

Do you think you have the energy for one more thing or would you like me to suggest a place where you can sleep for the night? There’s that inn where you went—

I’m not tired. I hope that didn’t sound too desperate or eager.

I don’t want the night to be over. I don’t want to think about what’s next. Returning to New York. I’m not ready.

Great, I was hoping for that. On weekends there are bonfires on the beach. The closest one to you is at 10th Avenue and Scenic Road. I think you’ll enjoy it.

I’ve never been to a bonfire. I’d love to; great idea.

Pretty much everything I did today was an absolute first. Not pretty much. Everything.

Eleven

There are quite a few people around the beach fire and at first, I feel uneasy. It’s the middle of the night, nobody knows exactly where I am—except for Max—and anything could happen. But they’re all so friendly and welcoming, I start to relax a bit.