Eighty-Three

I grab the phone from my bag and not even thinking how late it is in London, I call Alisa.

It doesn’t go straight to voicemail. There’s hope. Please, pick up. Please!

I hear a mumble and then Alisa’s sleepy voice.

“Maya, are you alright?”

“Alisa, I’m so sorry to wake you up. I just, I need to talk to you.”

I hear a noise, and I picture her sitting up, turning on the light, and staring at her clock.

“It’s OK; I was planning on waking up for the gym,” she says, and I know it’s a lie.

“I love you, you know?” I say.

“I love you too,” she says. “What’s going on? I assume you didn’t call to declare your love,” she says and giggles.

“I should’ve,” I say. “You’re the best friend anyone could ask for.”

“Just returning a little bit of how much you give me. So, what’s up?”

“He has a girlfriend,” I say, the desperation coming through every word.

“A girlfriend? That’s messed up! How do you know? Did Ethan tell you?”

“No! I’m not talking about Max.”

“Huh?”

“Ethan. Ethan has a girlfriend. And she’s a hundred times prettier than me, clearly younger. She’s like this perfect thing and so nice, you can’t even be mean to her.”

“So what’s the problem? Why do we care about Ethan’s girlfriend?”

I bite my lip and don’t respond.

“Do we care about Ethan’s girlfriend?” she asks tentatively.

“We shouldn’t, should we?” I ask, playing her game. I’m so all over the place. And I sound childish, I know that. But Alisa is the only person I can be messed up with. Hmm, weirdly enough, I also felt lately I could be my insecure, chaotic self with Ethan.

“No, we shouldn’t.”

“Right. You’re right. We’re just friends. Not even.”

“Indeed. You’re just friends until he tells you who Max is.”

“But—”

“No buts. And where are you anyway? It sounds echoey.”

“In the bathroom. At a restaurant.”

“Let me guess. He’s in the restaurant with her.”

“He is.”

“And you pulled the toilet pass. Ouch. I don’t like what it means.”

“It doesn’t mean anything. Just a momentary blip.”

“Is it the same blip that took you to Big Sur, Napa and that show in San Francisco?”

“I—”

“If it’s the same blip that made you kiss him, maybe you should stop for a moment and think about what you truly want. I know it’s easy to get caught up in a plan and walk blindly forward until you reach your target. But sometimes the target moves.”

“Stop saying blip. And what are you even talking about?”

“Plans change. Targets change. Feelings change. People change. I’m not Ethan’s fan. I think he’s a sucky friend and I think he knew what he was doing, spending all this time with you, but I’m pretty sure you’re not the only one who has these feelings. Unless he’s the world’s biggest player or he’s trying to get back at you for something, all these things he’s doing, these super nice things can only mean one thing. Even from thousands of miles away.”