‘Yeah. I know that.’ It saved Nula herself the bother of night-time feeds, changes, anything. Now Nula wished to Christ that she’d been more hands-on, more involved. More . . . ah but Jesus, what was the use? She felt the awful depression stealing over her again, blackening her mood. Jake was dead.

‘So I went back up to the top nursery and got into bed and went to sleep. And then . . .’ Chrissy’s voice faltered.

‘Go on.’

‘Then something woke me. I don’t know what. It was bright moonlight. The room seemed full of shadows. So I reached out, switched on the bedside light and . . .’

‘What? Go on for God’s sake.’

‘He was there. Harlan. He was standing right there, leaning over me.’

Good Christ.

‘Did he want something? A drink of water . . . ?’

‘No.’ Now Chrissy’s face hardened even though her voice shook. ‘He didn’t want anything, Mrs Stone. He was leaning over me, and he had a knife in his hand.’

54

Belle was doing everything she possibly could to console Milly over the loss of her baby brother. Jill was touched to see them out on the lawn together, Belle putting her arm around a crying Milly, hugging her. Sometimes, she listened in to what they were chattering about.

‘We’re the can-do girls,’ she heard Belle say to Milly. ‘All right? We can be very sad about Jake, but we have to remember, he’s safe in the arms of the angels now, and he’s happy. The best thing we can do for him is to go on with our lives and be happy too.’

Jill felt choked up to hear it. She drove the girls over to the grave; Harlan didn’t want to go, he stayed home.

‘There’s nothing there, anyway,’ he told Belle and Milly callously. ‘Dead’s dead, that’s all.’

‘Shut up, Harlan,’ said Belle.

‘Make me,’ he snapped back with a grin.

Belle didn’t bother. They took flowers to the graveside, and filled urns carefully, arranging the blooms just so. They looked beautiful.

‘I don’t like to think of him down there, alone,’ said Milly, starting to howl again as they stood beside the grave, preparing to go.

Jill patted her shoulder. Belle gave her a hard hug. ‘He’s not there any more, Mills,’ she said gently. ‘He’s in heaven. Smiling down on us.’

Jill looked at Belle with pride and had to brush away a tear. Belle was going to help Milly through this. And everything – sooner or later – would maybe turn out all right.

55