any room left

for you to be

Betsy.”

I’m Done Talking for Now

So my mother doesn’t hate Lizard.

She admires her.

Because Lizard has spunk and spirit.

And I don’t.

Because Lizard is always Lizard, despite everything.

And I’ve never figured out how to be Betsy.

My Father’s Turn to Talk

My father has been very quiet

for a long, long time.

For the last two hours—or three?—

he’s just listened to my mother and me.

But we couldn’t have done our talking,

if he hadn’t been there doing his listening.

Now he reaches over

and takes my hand.

“Kathleen,” he says,

“sometimes someone who is quiet

has their spunk and spirit

deep inside, like a hidden treasure.

They feel more deeply

and hurt more deeply

and love more deeply,

in ways the rest of us can’t see.

Yes, Lizard is indeed

a force to be reckoned with.

But I’d put my money

on our Betsy, any day.”

This Is Why I Love My Father More Than Anything

He sees more in me

than my mother does.

He sees more in me

than anyone else does.

He sees more in me

than I see in myself.

My Mother Takes My Other Hand

“James—

I didn’t mean…

James, of course Betsy

has her own gifts.

I’d rather have her as my daughter

than any other child on earth.

I guess…

No, I know…

I haven’t done

as good a job

as I should have

of showing that.”

Now she turns

toward me

and looks

into my eyes

as if she’s

really, truly

seeing me

for the first time.

“I haven’t done

as good a job

as I should have

at so many things,

my precious,

my beautiful,

Betsy.”

Now We Are Really Done Talking for Today

One time I asked my mother

how many words there are in the English language.

She said there is no easy way

to answer that question.

For one, it’s hard to decide

what counts as a word,

because the same group of letters

can be a noun,

like dog is the name for an animal,

or a verb,

like dog means to follow persistently.

Plus there is the dog in hot dog,

where we could say,

“Put some more dogs on the grill.”

For another, it’s hard to decide

what counts as English,

because there are so many foreign words

that are part of English now

(like taco and spaghetti),

plus slang (which is always changing)

and regional dialects

and abbreviations

and more.

But then she said the answer

is around a quarter of a million.

I feel like we spoke

a quarter of a million words

tonight.

I Stay Home from School on Tuesday

This time when my father asks me

if I want to stay home from school for the day,

I say yes.