So I bruise the next day, and the next day, and the next. I search for the fight in my heart—the fire that gives me a purpose and the desire to get through this. And eventually I’m not nervous to get in the sparring ring.

I look forward to it.

“You need to watch your left,” Gil says from behind his raised fists.

I don’t answer. I punch with my right, jab with my left, and duck when Gil swings.

The corner of his mouth twitches. An almost smile.

The distraction is all he needs—he jabs, spins, elbows me in the stomach, and flips me over his shoulder and onto the floor.

I moan, more out of frustration than pain, and push myself back to my feet.

He jumps up and down a few times as if he’s shaking off extra adrenaline. “Stop looking for approval and focus on the fight. You don’t get a gold star for effort.”

I hate that he can read me so well. I put up my fists. “Again.”

Gil frowns and drops his hands.

I hesitate, worried it’s a trick. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Your bruises are gone.”

I let my hands relax, following his gaze to my bare arms. “Oh, that.” Yeong said it would take a while to learn how to avoid getting bruises, but he didn’t say anything about hiding them. “I figured out a cheat.”

Gil looks curious, which is a first.

“It turns out that whenever I try to look like a Resident, the bruises disappear. So as long as I maintain this appearance, it sort of works like a reset.”

He doesn’t look as impressed as I thought he’d be. If anything, he looks angry. “You learned how to control it?”

“No. I mean, yes. I mean—not exactly.” My cheeks darken under his stare. “I don’t know how to go from one extreme to the other. It’s almost easier to look like a Resident than it is to look human again. But I think I figured out what the problem was. See, I was treating it like a veil, when really it’s just part of who—”

“Did you tell Annika?” he interrupts.

My heart stumbles, and I feel my secret start to unravel. Pressing my lips together, I shake my head. “I wanted more time to learn how to fight.” I wanted more time before everyone knew.

Gil clenches his jaw. “And why is that? Because sometimes I can’t tell who you think you’re fighting—the Residents or the Colony.”

I scowl. “That’s not fair. I’m here every day, aren’t I? I’m putting the time in. I’m trying.”