My death wasn’t my fault. Not really. And maybe I’ll never know if strength would have made a bit of difference. But I do know that if sacrificing myself to save that little girl was the only way she could live, I’d do it all over again.

Because of me, a child gets to grow old. A mother didn’t have to bury her baby. Another little girl didn’t have to come here.

After all this time, I think maybe that’s enough for me.

Theo scratches his neck. “I know the Colony can be intense. I’m sorry if I’ve ever made you feel like you had to do something you weren’t comfortable with.”

“I do want to help,” I say stonily.

He nods. “But on your own terms.”

“Exactly. And that means not leaving anybody behind.” I stare at the sand. “I don’t like the idea of giving up on people without even trying.” Maybe because I don’t like the idea of people giving up on me.

He nudges me with his shoulder. “How about we make a deal that we don’t give up on each other, all right?”

Maybe I’m making a mistake by getting so attached to the people here, but I can’t help it. Somehow, despite being in the middle of a literal war, I’ve found friends.

There was a time when I didn’t see the point in opening up my heart to more wounds than it was already carrying. This world seemed too dangerous. The people in it seemed too dangerous.

But maybe caring is a natural progression of knowing someone.

And even if I don’t always agree with the people in the Colony, I’m glad that I know them.

I shove the sea glass in my pocket for safekeeping. “Deal. Now, how about you show me that trick where you punch the ground and blow things out of the sky?”

Theo laughs with his whole body. “Let’s start with something simpler.” He picks up a rock and tosses it above his head. “Try to knock this out of the air.”

I pin my feet to the sand, shifting my body toward him so we’re facing each other. He throws the rock up, and it lands back in his palm. When he does it again, I try to will the stone out of his grasp, but it finds his fist.

“Again,” he says.

I’m thinking about still water and reflections and calming my mind when suddenly the earth starts to rumble.

Startled, I take a step back. “I—I don’t know what I did.”

Theo’s face falls, along with the rock from his hand. “That wasn’t you.”

Ahmet’s shouts tear across the beach and pierce my chest. When I look up, he’s waving his arms, desperately trying to get us to run toward him.