He smiles with half his face, hiding the sadness. After a few moments, he leans down to pick up a piece of dark red sea glass. “Here. See if you can shift this into something else.” He places it carefully in my palm.

I hold it up to the sun, watching the color brighten. I imagine it’s a marble, or a button, or a stone—anything other than sea glass.

But not even the color changes.

I roll the smooth object in my fingers. “I wish it came easier to me.” I look up at Theo. “Being strong.”

Theo shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “There are different ways of being strong.”

“But only one kind that matters in Infinity.”

His mouth thins. “I won’t let anything happen to you. And if saving Martin puts you or the Colony in too much danger, then we won’t do it.” There’s so much sincerity in his voice, and I have no doubt he means every word.

But it’s easy to make sacrifices in theory. Seeing them through is something else entirely.

Would he still feel the same if Martin were right in front of him?

And even with his loyalty—his protection—it’s still not enough. “I want to be strong enough to help. But I also need to be strong enough to help myself,” I explain. “There might come a time when you aren’t there, and neither is the Colony. I need to be prepared. I need to be certain of where I stand, so that even if I’m alone, I won’t feel lost.

“And I don’t want you to think that means I don’t care about the Colony and what they’re trying to save. Because I will always want a safe place for humans. But I also believe in making my own choices and following my gut. And I don’t want to feel pressured into going along with things anymore. I did too much of that when I was alive.” My mouth pinches as I search for my next words. “I want to be the kind of person who helps people when they need it. Even when it’s hard. Because some parts of humanity are still worth saving.”

He doesn’t say anything for a long time, but when he speaks, his voice is strained. “You know, I heard about your dreams and how you died.” His brow softens. “I think you already are that person.”

The ocean sways nearby, and I let it swallow up the silence. Sometimes I wonder if things would’ve been different if I’d been stronger back then. If I’d known how to fight, could I have stopped that masked man and still survived?