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Chapters (82)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for The House of Whispers
  3. Title Page
  4. Note to Readers
  5. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  6. One
  7. Two
  8. Three
  9. Four
  10. Five
  11. Six
  12. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  13. Seven
  14. Eight
  15. Nine
  16. Ten
  17. Eleven
  18. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  19. Twelve
  20. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  21. Thirteen
  22. Fourteen
  23. Fifteen
  24. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  25. Sixteen
  26. Seventeen
  27. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  28. Eighteen
  29. Nineteen
  30. Twenty
  31. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  32. Twenty-One
  33. Twenty-Two
  34. Twenty-Three
  35. Twenty-Four
  36. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  37. Twenty-Five
  38. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  39. Twenty-Six
  40. Twenty-Seven
  41. Twenty-Eight
  42. Twenty-Nine
  43. Thirty
  44. Thirty-One
  45. Thirty-Two
  46. Thirty-Three
  47. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  48. Thirty-Four
  49. Thirty-Five
  50. Thirty-Six
  51. Thirty-Seven
  52. Thirty-Eight
  53. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  54. Thirty-Nine
  55. Forty
  56. Forty-One
  57. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  58. Forty-Two
  59. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  60. Forty-Three
  61. Forty-Four
  62. Forty-Five
  63. Forty-Six
  64. Forty-Seven
  65. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  66. Forty-Eight
  67. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  68. Forty-Nine
  69. Fifty
  70. Fifty-One
  71. Fifty-Two
  72. Fifty-Three
  73. Fifty-Four
  74. Fifty-Five
  75. Fifty-Six
  76. Fifty-Seven
  77. Fifty-Eight
  78. Fifty-Nine
  79. Sixty
  80. Priory Hospital North London: 20 December 2019
  81. Acknowledgements
  82. About the Publisher

‘You know what you’re like in crowds,’ he said, ‘and this is Heathrow we’re talking about.’ He shook his head and laughed, the idea of me at the airport preposterous. ‘Anyway, I’d worry about you getting back home without me.’ He pulled me to him then and squeezed me. ‘I’ll get a taxi and we can say goodbye at home. It’s the best way, and you know it.’

I accepted the hug in silence and nothing more was said, but the thought of Rohan’s departure had grown like a tumour in the back of my mind, a shadow on an X-ray, silent and threatening, and now it was almost here. I sat on our bed, my spine propped uncomfortably against the headboard, my legs stretching down the duvet, while Rohan packed his last few things. It was barely past dawn and the light from the bedside lamp pooled yellow. Alfie circled the room, unsettled by the early activity as much as by the suitcases. The cab was due any second.

‘Passport? Boarding pass? Wallet? Credit card?’ I asked, and Rohan nodded absently, his eyes taking in the sight of me alone on the bed, but his mind already leaving the house, me, our life.

‘Glasses? Contact lenses?’ I added, just to remind him that he and I were both still here, together for the last time for a good few weeks.

‘Right,’ he said as if I hadn’t spoken, and he closed the lid of his suitcase, pulled the zip around and spun the combination lock. ‘Done. I bet I’ve forgotten something, but – pff.’

‘I’m sure they have shops in New York,’ I said, and tried to smile but the effort was too much and tears oozed out from under my eyelashes. I turned away and tried to wipe them without being seen.

‘Aww. Don’t cry.’ Rohan kissed the top of my head. ‘I love you so much.’

‘Don’t go.’ My words were barely audible. It was too late: the scale had tipped; the process begun. Tears leaked and I wiped them with my palms. Rohan sat down next to me on the bed and put his arm around me. I leaned into his body, wishing, wishing, wishing that I could go back in time and change everything.

‘I’m sorry,’ Rohan said. ‘You know I have no choice. I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t have to. I’ll be back before you know it.’

‘I know. I love you too.’ My face was hot and wet. It was like crying at school with the whole class watching.

‘We can talk every day if you like. FaceTime. Or Zoom. Whatever you want.’ Rohan kissed my hair again and got up with a sigh. ‘My cab’ll be here in a minute.’