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Chapters (82)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for The House of Whispers
  3. Title Page
  4. Note to Readers
  5. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  6. One
  7. Two
  8. Three
  9. Four
  10. Five
  11. Six
  12. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  13. Seven
  14. Eight
  15. Nine
  16. Ten
  17. Eleven
  18. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  19. Twelve
  20. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  21. Thirteen
  22. Fourteen
  23. Fifteen
  24. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  25. Sixteen
  26. Seventeen
  27. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  28. Eighteen
  29. Nineteen
  30. Twenty
  31. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  32. Twenty-One
  33. Twenty-Two
  34. Twenty-Three
  35. Twenty-Four
  36. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  37. Twenty-Five
  38. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  39. Twenty-Six
  40. Twenty-Seven
  41. Twenty-Eight
  42. Twenty-Nine
  43. Thirty
  44. Thirty-One
  45. Thirty-Two
  46. Thirty-Three
  47. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  48. Thirty-Four
  49. Thirty-Five
  50. Thirty-Six
  51. Thirty-Seven
  52. Thirty-Eight
  53. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  54. Thirty-Nine
  55. Forty
  56. Forty-One
  57. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  58. Forty-Two
  59. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  60. Forty-Three
  61. Forty-Four
  62. Forty-Five
  63. Forty-Six
  64. Forty-Seven
  65. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  66. Forty-Eight
  67. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  68. Forty-Nine
  69. Fifty
  70. Fifty-One
  71. Fifty-Two
  72. Fifty-Three
  73. Fifty-Four
  74. Fifty-Five
  75. Fifty-Six
  76. Fifty-Seven
  77. Fifty-Eight
  78. Fifty-Nine
  79. Sixty
  80. Priory Hospital North London: 20 December 2019
  81. Acknowledgements
  82. About the Publisher

‘Don’t you want a baby?’ Rohan asked. ‘Is that what this is about? Because if you don’t, I think you need to tell me.’ His face twisted as he fought to control his emotions. Lightning flared again, lighting us and the street for a fraction of a second as bright as the brightest day. Rohan and I stood frozen in a tableau. His hands were on his hips and he took up most of the pavement space. As the darkness after the flash released us, a dog barked a volley of howls and the trees above us rustled. I tried to sidestep Rohan, to dive towards the house, but my husband had an agility that surprised me.

‘Well, Abi?’ he said, blocking my way, and we stared at each other. His hopes, his dreams, his need to be a father shone out of his eyes; there was a desperation there, too. I swallowed.

‘Of course I want a baby,’ I whispered to the street but I felt as if the trees, the houses and the paving stones themselves could see through me. Again, out of the corner of my eye I caught a movement at the attic window and shame flooded through me. ‘More than anything,’ I said, and suddenly my eyes were full of tears and a lump sat hard in my throat. Rohan stared at me for a moment then pulled me to him.

‘Oh, hon, it’s okay,’ he said, holding me tight, his hands in my hair. My tears soaked into his shirt, mascara blackening the fabric. ‘I know it’s difficult.’

I liked how his voice sounded with my ear pressed to his chest. I didn’t want to move, to look up, to have to see that look in his eyes again.

‘I just… I don’t know,’ he said. ‘Sometimes I think it’s only me on this train. Sometimes you just don’t seem to be on board.’

‘I am,’ I said, muffled against him.

He hugged me tighter. ‘I know, darling. I know. I’m sorry. I forget that you bottle things up inside; that you’re not like me.’ He inhaled deeply and exhaled the breath as a sigh. ‘Can I tell you something else?’

I nodded.

‘I’m quite worried about leaving you. When I go to New York. Will you be all right?’

A sob rose inside me and I swallowed it back down. In my mind’s eye, I pictured the possibility of Grace being with me in the house; of Grace sleeping in the spare room; Grace sitting in the kitchen; Grace watching TV with me; and goosebumps pricked my skin. I didn’t reply; just tightened my arms around Rohan’s waist.

Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019

‘So you agreed to work in New York for two months while Abigail stayed home. Were you worried about leaving her?’