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Chapters (82)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for The House of Whispers
  3. Title Page
  4. Note to Readers
  5. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  6. One
  7. Two
  8. Three
  9. Four
  10. Five
  11. Six
  12. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  13. Seven
  14. Eight
  15. Nine
  16. Ten
  17. Eleven
  18. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  19. Twelve
  20. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  21. Thirteen
  22. Fourteen
  23. Fifteen
  24. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  25. Sixteen
  26. Seventeen
  27. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  28. Eighteen
  29. Nineteen
  30. Twenty
  31. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  32. Twenty-One
  33. Twenty-Two
  34. Twenty-Three
  35. Twenty-Four
  36. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  37. Twenty-Five
  38. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  39. Twenty-Six
  40. Twenty-Seven
  41. Twenty-Eight
  42. Twenty-Nine
  43. Thirty
  44. Thirty-One
  45. Thirty-Two
  46. Thirty-Three
  47. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  48. Thirty-Four
  49. Thirty-Five
  50. Thirty-Six
  51. Thirty-Seven
  52. Thirty-Eight
  53. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  54. Thirty-Nine
  55. Forty
  56. Forty-One
  57. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  58. Forty-Two
  59. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  60. Forty-Three
  61. Forty-Four
  62. Forty-Five
  63. Forty-Six
  64. Forty-Seven
  65. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  66. Forty-Eight
  67. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  68. Forty-Nine
  69. Fifty
  70. Fifty-One
  71. Fifty-Two
  72. Fifty-Three
  73. Fifty-Four
  74. Fifty-Five
  75. Fifty-Six
  76. Fifty-Seven
  77. Fifty-Eight
  78. Fifty-Nine
  79. Sixty
  80. Priory Hospital North London: 20 December 2019
  81. Acknowledgements
  82. About the Publisher

‘Knock, knock!’ she called, but already she was peering past me, moving her neck like a meerkat and I was in front of her, my arms wide, sidestepping, trying to block her view. I was fast, but maybe not fast enough. Even as her mouth fell open and her skin drained of colour, I grabbed her shoulders and spun her around, pushing her so hard out of the door that she stumbled down the first few steps and landed hard on her backside.

I locked the attic door, my hands shaky, while she gathered herself and got to her feet, rubbing at her hip. I towered above her on the dark stairs, my heart thumping. Her face was a moon of white below me. How much had she seen?

‘I’ll just get changed.’ Grace turned abruptly, crossed the landing and shut the door with a click. I stumbled after her and lifted my hand to knock, wanting to follow her, wanting to ask her what she saw, wanting to explain, but my hand fell back down. What could I say to her?

I slumped onto the top step, my body scrunched like a child as I hugged my knees to my chest. How could I ever let her see the way I’d tortured and destroyed her in the portraits, suffocating her, strangling her, drowning her, pulling her flesh apart before extinguishing her? Aside from the first two and the last, these images were the antithesis to what she’d imagine. Worse, she’d see, right there in glorious colour, exactly how I felt about her. It was one thing for me to paint those images in private, but I don’t know what I’d imagined would happen when Grace finally saw the portraits – as she inevitably would – at the gallery, if not at home.

What had that website said about toxic friends? Prepare for retaliation.

I’d buried my head in the sand, losing myself in the creative process and ignoring the inevitable fallout that would follow. But of course, it was an issue. I stiffened, my hand reaching for my phone. I could phone Francesca and call off the exhibition; tell her I couldn’t go through with it. But even as the thought crystallized, I knew it wouldn’t work. She would argue with me; rope in Rohan. The pair of them would think I was having an ‘artistic wobble’ or a ‘moment’; they’d hustle around me, reassuring me how good I was.

But this wasn’t about my faith in myself. I knew those paintings were sensational.