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Chapters (82)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise for The House of Whispers
  3. Title Page
  4. Note to Readers
  5. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  6. One
  7. Two
  8. Three
  9. Four
  10. Five
  11. Six
  12. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  13. Seven
  14. Eight
  15. Nine
  16. Ten
  17. Eleven
  18. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  19. Twelve
  20. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  21. Thirteen
  22. Fourteen
  23. Fifteen
  24. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  25. Sixteen
  26. Seventeen
  27. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  28. Eighteen
  29. Nineteen
  30. Twenty
  31. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  32. Twenty-One
  33. Twenty-Two
  34. Twenty-Three
  35. Twenty-Four
  36. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  37. Twenty-Five
  38. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  39. Twenty-Six
  40. Twenty-Seven
  41. Twenty-Eight
  42. Twenty-Nine
  43. Thirty
  44. Thirty-One
  45. Thirty-Two
  46. Thirty-Three
  47. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  48. Thirty-Four
  49. Thirty-Five
  50. Thirty-Six
  51. Thirty-Seven
  52. Thirty-Eight
  53. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  54. Thirty-Nine
  55. Forty
  56. Forty-One
  57. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  58. Forty-Two
  59. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  60. Forty-Three
  61. Forty-Four
  62. Forty-Five
  63. Forty-Six
  64. Forty-Seven
  65. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  66. Forty-Eight
  67. Transcript of interview with Mr Rohan Allerton, husband of Abigail Allerton: 20 December 2019
  68. Forty-Nine
  69. Fifty
  70. Fifty-One
  71. Fifty-Two
  72. Fifty-Three
  73. Fifty-Four
  74. Fifty-Five
  75. Fifty-Six
  76. Fifty-Seven
  77. Fifty-Eight
  78. Fifty-Nine
  79. Sixty
  80. Priory Hospital North London: 20 December 2019
  81. Acknowledgements
  82. About the Publisher

I squeezed my hands in my lap thinking of the dark clouds; of Grace’s distorted underwater face; of her struggling where I’d locked her under the canvas; of her face ripped apart; and of the dark, dark places I expected to take her next.

‘Yeah. They’re just a woman.’ My body twitched and my hand jerked up so I planted it on the wine glass and lifted it to my lips. ‘It’s a series,’ I said carefully. ‘The subject is young at the start, and then she grows up.’

‘Okay,’ Rohan said. ‘Sounds good. What’s the style?’

‘I can’t really explain it. But dark.’

Rohan nodded. ‘I don’t want to push you, but I’d really like to see what you’ve done.’

What was the harm as long as he didn’t know it was Grace? ‘Sure. Later.’ I took a deep breath. ‘So how’s New York? What’s it like?’

So Rohan started telling me about the apartment and his office and the people he worked with and the deli on the corner that made the most amazing sandwiches and how delicious the baloney was, and I tuned out. In my head I was thinking about the seventh portrait – a feeling was coming to me now and I was getting an idea of what it might be: a slideshow of images ran through my head, shifting and moving: colours, shapes, patterns and a sense in my chest of restriction, of panic and fear. Blood. There would also be blood.

‘Abs? I said I think you’d like New York,’ Rohan said, and I realized I hadn’t been listening to a word he was saying. ‘Why don’t you come back with me? What do you think?’

I flattened my lips and shook my head. ‘I can’t… I’m sorry. I just need to finish what I’m doing.’

‘You could paint there. As I said, I have amazing views from the apartment, and I’m so close to all the galleries. God, you should see how the river changes colour as the sun comes up. It’s beautiful.’

I closed my eyes with a little laugh. He just didn’t get it. I couldn’t paint anywhere outside our house; outside my attic. The force for these paintings came from there, and Grace was a part of it. What would I paint in America? What would flow into my soul over there? A big blank.

‘I’m not painting a river.’ I picked a little at my food, pushing it about the plate.

‘Are you okay? Are you tired? Do you want to go home?’ Rohan asked when the silence had stretched too far. ‘We can get this boxed up.’

‘No, I’m fine.’ I took a bite of food. ‘It’s fine.’