“And we don’t want to do the same thing as someone else,” Chaewon chimes in with a smile. Classic Chaewon, but for once her sweetness rubs me the wrong way. Like she’s being fake and charming to get her way, not just because of who she is. “We should try and work together to find something we’re all interested in. That nobody else has done. Jess and I have a few ideas.”

I laugh. I can’t help it, it just bursts out of me. But it’s not humorous or light-hearted. It’s harsh and not like a laugh at all.

“Of course you’ve already talked about it. I’m sure you already know exactly what business idea you want for the competition, and no matter what I say or think, the two of you will get your way anyway.”

Jess frowns. “That’s not fair. We’re a democracy.”

“Except, you two are basically the same person.” I wave my hands over them as if there could be any mistake who exactly I’m talking about.

“We’re not—” Chaewon starts, but she’s cut off by the loud sound of the bell going off. It’s the warning bell, which indicates that we still have a few minutes to make our way to class.

“We can talk about this later,” Jess says. Before I have a chance to respond, she grabs hold of Chaewon’s hand and drags her away. They steal one last glance at me, like I’m someone they’ve never seen before.

I spend the whole day trying to decide what I want to tell Chaewon and Jess. Or rather, how I can convince them that we need to beat Flávia. That we need to run a henna business. That I need this.

But how can I do all of that without telling them why? How can I convince them that right now, the business competition, the henna, the urge to win, is the only thing keeping me going? That it’s the only solid thing in my life right now? When everything else feels up in the air, out of control?

I can’t say any of those things. So at lunch I settle for approaching them with my brightest (fakest) smile and two of the finest chocolate bars you can purchase at the school’s tuck shop.

“Hey.” I sit down, offering them the bars. They accept, sharing a bewildered look but peeling the wrappers off and beginning to nibble at the ends anyway.

“Look, I’m sorry about earlier.” I say. “I was just … upset.”

“Clearly,” Jess says. Chaewon looks at her chidingly, before leaning forward, her face softening.

“Look, we understand why you were upset. We do.” I’m not sure she does. “But right now, it does feel like we’re playing a very small part in all of this. And this project is supposed to be ours, you know?”