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Back The Henna Wars Save as PDF
Chapters (43)
  1. Cover
  2. TheHennaWars
  3. Copyright Notice
  4. Dedication
  5. Content Warning
  6. 1
  7. 2
  8. 3
  9. 4
  10. 5
  11. 6
  12. 7
  13. 8
  14. 9
  15. 10
  16. 11
  17. 12
  18. 13
  19. 14
  20. 15
  21. 16
  22. 17
  23. 18
  24. 19
  25. 20
  26. 21
  27. 22
  28. 23
  29. 24
  30. 25
  31. 26
  32. 27
  33. 28
  34. 29
  35. 30
  36. 31
  37. 32
  38. 33
  39. 34
  40. acknowledgments
  41. about the author
  42. Newsletter Sign-up
  43. Copyright

“I know.” I cut her off because I do know. Flávia should tell them when she’s ready. When she wants to. When she thinks it’s her time. She should tell them for her, not for me. But that doesn’t change how I feel. I can’t take back the fact that Ali has outed me. I don’t want to take it back. And to go into hiding with Flávia would be a step back, not a step forward. “I just can’t deal with it, I guess. Being with you but … having to deal with them. When they don’t know. And the things they’ll say … about me and my family. I can’t take it.”

She nods. Her hand squeezes mine for a moment. The warmth of her spreads through me.

Then she pulls back her hand. The distance between us seems miles long all of a sudden. It’s unfathomable that just a moment ago we were touching.

“I get it.” There’s a waver in her voice I wish I couldn’t hear. “I should go.”

“Flávia.”

“You’re right. Please don’t say anything else.” She gets out of her chair, and I watch. There’s nothing else I can say, really. Reassuring her wouldn’t make things better. And it wouldn’t be honest.

“Can I …” She stops and looks me in the eye. “I want to pull out of the competition. Everything that’s happened … it’s all wrong. I see it now and I should have seen it before. You were always right and I always knew it. I just … I didn’t want to see it.”

I shake my head. “I don’t want to win because you let me,” I say. “I want to win because I earned it.”

“Even if everything is stacked up against you?”

I shrug. “Even if everything is stacked up against me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

She hesitates for a moment, taking me in. I think she’s going to protest. Or say something. But she doesn’t. With a wave of her hand, she turns and disappears from sight. I hear the front door click open and shut, and only then do I start breathing normally again. My chest hurts so much with all the anxiety I’ve been holding in.

I stare at the full mug of tea Flávia left behind. Untouched.

All I can think is that at least she won’t remember me as the girl who makes terrible tea.

31

“WHAT DID SHE WANT?” PRITI ASKS WHEN I COME upstairs and slump down on my bed, taking a deep breath, like that will make the events from the past few weeks disappear from my mind.

“We … broke up.” It feels strange to say it aloud. Especially since I never really said aloud that we were together. Our relationship was shorter than Kim Kardashian’s last marriage.