“Well … you know, it’s not exactly easy to be Brazilian here. When people think of Brazil, they think … I don’t know, futebol, Carnival, partying—whatever. And all the boys think because I’m a Brazilian girl, I’ll be up for anything. You don’t know the way they look at me, the things they say. And Chyna doesn’t get it. She kind of encourages it. After that party, I just kept thinking how much worse it would be if it was true that I was bisexual. Brazilian and bisexual? I would never hear the end of it.”

“I get it,” I say, even though I don’t think I really do. But I want to. I’m trying to. “Is Chyna really that important to you?”

“It’s not just Chyna …” she says hesitantly, like she’s really picking and choosing her words. “It’s just that … my mom brought me back here because she thought it would be good for me to get to know my dad and his side of the family. Even if they’re a little conservative. A little different from us. And … yes, Chyna and I have had this bond our entire lives. I don’t know how to explain it. I can’t exactly throw that away.”

Flávia might not understand it, but I think I do. After seeing the way they were together, with no inhibitions; that’s the way you are with people you love.

I don’t say any of this to Flávia. Instead, I say, “Family can be difficult. Complicated. I get it.”

She pulls me a little closer and says, “I’m sorry, Nishat. I’m going to try and take care of it.”

I’m not sure if she will, or even if she can. What I do I know is that I want this moment to last, to stretch into a million moments that we share. So I nod, choosing to believe her.

28

I WAKE UP ON SUNDAY STILL THINKING ABOUT KISSING Flávia. I’m buzzing with a kind of happiness that I haven’t felt in a long time. Sure, my parents are still super weird about my sexuality. And the entire school knows, and is actively whispering about me behind my back—when people aren’t doing things like refusing to use the same changing rooms as me. But none of that holds much weight right now.

Later that morning, Chaewon and Jess show up at the restaurant with bright smiles. It’s just me there. Priti stayed home, deciding not to emerge from her bedroom since breakfast.

“I’m ready to be beautified!” Jess exclaims, sliding into the booth and flipping through my design book. Chaewon rolls her eyes, but shoots me a grin.

“Have you had many customers yet?” she asks.

I shake my head. “Chyna … decided to have a party yesterday during the time my booth was open.”