“Soon,” she reassures me. I don’t believe her and I don’t want to.

We climb the steps of the bridge. It’s a Sunday and there are still huge crowds of people passing by on each side. Flávia pulls us into the middle. On one side, we can see O’Connell Bridge, wide and sturdy, brimming with people and cars.

But Flávia turns the other way. Through the white railings of the Ha’penny Bridge we can see down the River Liffey, where the sunset is turning the city into a kaleidoscope.

“When I was little, my mom used to bring me here.” Flávia lets go of my hand and stands on her tiptoes so she can take in the sunset in all its glory. I watch the colors deflect off of her, illuminating her hair, her eyes. The curve of her lips. I want to kiss her, but it feels strange in this crowded place.

“She would tell me about São Paulo while the sun set.”

“Do you wish you could go there?” I ask tentatively.

She nods, though she doesn’t look at me. “Yeah, sometimes. It’s like I have this weird pull for a place that I barely know. I don’t understand it. My sister went two years ago with her boyfriend. She says maybe we can go together when she graduates from her Master’s next year.”

“That would be good, right?” I think about my own time in Bangladesh; I was lucky to grow up around family, learning about my culture and my language.

“Yeah …” Flávia finally catches my eye. “It’s just … it’s kind of nerve-wracking too.”

I slip my fingers through hers once more and press closer. The passers-by don’t care about the two girls paused in the middle of the street, or the orange glow the sun has cast over us all.

“I get it. I lived in Bangladesh for so many years but I still feel anxious about going back.”

Flávia smiles and turns back to the sky again. “First date watching the sunset. It’s kind of cheesy.”

“It’s sweet.”

She gives me a sheepish smile. “So … cheesy?”

“Romantic.” The words tumble out, braver than I feel.

Her smile widens. She pulls me closer. Suddenly, it’s like there is no one but us on this busy Dublin bridge as she presses her lips to mine.

29

IT’S OUR SECOND SHOWCASE ON FRIDAY. I WAKE UP EARLY to get into school and set everything up before everyone else gets there. After what happened during the first one, I can’t help how nervous I feel. I know I can’t be outed all over again, and I should be elated about the fact that Flávia and I are … something. But none of that takes away the heavy feeling in my chest.