“How long have the girls in school been speaking about you like this?” Ammu asks. “Principal Murphy told us about the text. Why didn’t you tell us?”

I can only blink at her, astonished. That’s what she’s angry about?

“T-today. They found out today.”

Ammu’s brows crease. “Found out …”

“About me. That … I’m a …” I’ve never been more afraid of saying those words aloud than I am now, but I manage to choke them out somehow. “… a lesbian.”

Ammu crosses her arms over her chest. “Because someone told them.”

“Yes.”

“Do you know who?”

I hesitate for a moment before shaking my head.

Ammu throws her hands up in frustration. “There has to be some way to find out, right?” She turns to look at Abbu, her eyebrows raised. “Now, it’s the school. Soon, it’ll be everyone in the neighborhood. Then, we’ll be getting phone calls from Bangladesh. We have to put a stop to this.”

My heart twists again. Ammu is afraid of everyone finding out about me, not worried about me at all.

“I’ll talk to Sunny, maybe she can give us some suggestions, nah?” Abbu says. Ammu nods enthusiastically, like this is the best idea.

I drift out of the room as the two of them continue to discuss their options. They don’t even notice as I stumble out of sight and up the stairs, rubbing at my eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay. Why did I expect more, even for a moment?

Priti is waiting on my bed when I open the door. She looks up, her eyes filled with concern.

“Apujan, what did they say?”

I shrug. “They’re trying to stop more people from finding out.”

“Oh.” Her lips downturn into a frown. “That’s good, right? You don’t want more people to know?”

What I want more than anything else in the world is to feel like being myself isn’t something that should be hidden and a secret. What I want is for my parents to be outraged that someone betrayed me, not ashamed of my identity.

But I just shrug and collapse onto my bed, looking up at the ceiling and wishing this day would end.

20

I BARELY SLEEP ALL NIGHT. I DON’T KNOW HOW I’M GOING to deal with going to school and facing everyone the next day. It was bad enough during the showcase, with everybody asking questions that were none of their business, staring at me like I was a thing of curiosity and not the same person they’d gone to school with for the past four years.

Priti obviously catches onto my nervousness, because when she comes into my room that morning, she looks me straight in the eye and says, “Are you feeling okay, Apujan?”

“I’m fine, Priti,” I say.