‘Oh, wow,’ said Thialfi. ‘I love your work. That time you dressed up as a bride—’

‘Don’t mention that!’ said Roskva.

‘Oh. Well, the time you rescued Idun from the Ice People, and—’

‘Actually, that was me,’ I said.

Roskva’s doe eyes opened wide. ‘Oh, my gods, you’re Loki,’ she said. ‘You’re absolutely my favourite of all the gods in Asgard. Thialfi, you dope, this is Loki. Loki, the Trickster in person. Thor and Loki, in our house, and we never even suspected!’

‘Whatever,’ said Thor, still irate. ‘You disobeyed my specific command. You all deserve to pay with your lives.’

I pointed out that killing his loyal fans would hardly help his public image. By then all the family were bowing, scraping and I-am-not-worthy-ing as if they’d never seen a celebrity before. I was frankly revolted, but it seemed to have an effect on Thor.

‘All right, all right. I’ll let it pass.’

Thialfi and Roskva jumped for joy. Roskva brought out a little pink notebook and a stick of charcoal and asked me to write my name inside. Thialfi wanted to feel Thor’s arms, to see if they were as thick as they looked.

‘So, how do you get to be a god?’ said the father of the family. ‘Is it something that can be taught? Or is it something you’re born with? Because my son’s always saying that he wants to be a god someday, but I don’t know if there’s a career in it. Not like there is in farming.’

Thor assured him that there was.

‘So, did you train?’ said Thialfi. ‘Or were you, like, recruited?’

Thor told him it was a bit of both.

‘And where do you get your ideas from?’ said the mother, addressing me. ‘All those clever plans you make, I don’t know how you think of them. Do they just come into your head?’

I smiled and told her yes, they did.

Father and mother looked impressed. ‘Roskva’s clever, for a girl,’ said the mother fondly. ‘Her head’s so full of ideas, I don’t know where she gets them from. And my Thialfi, he can run like the wind. I’ve never seen anyone faster. Do you think perhaps they might have – you know – potential?’

I could see where this was heading. I started to say something about not having enough time to nurture new talent, when I saw Thor’s expression and cursed inwardly. It isn’t often Thor gets an idea, and even less often a good one, but when he gets one into his head it’s almost impossible to shift. And Thor had had an idea, I could tell: his eyes were bright, his face was flushed and his beard was bristling.

‘Don’t even think about it,’ I said.

‘Come on, Loki. They’re so cute. I think I want to keep them.’