‘And now,’ said Thrym, who was very drunk, ‘we can all agree that Freyja has made the right choice. Mjølnir is a mighty weapon, but I think we both know there’s a mightier one. I hear she can’t wait to try it out.’ And he staggered up to Freyja and winked, and placed the hammer on her lap.

Thor’s reaction was immediate. He stood up, grasping the hammer, and flung away his disguise. Unveiled and in Aspect, he was fearsome; his red beard bristled; his torso bulged; his eyes were alight with fury. I just kept out of his way; it’s really the only thing to do when Thor’s on one of his rampages.

Thunder crashed; lightning blazed; the hammer did its deadly work. ‘Something borrowed, something blue’ – well, they’d borrowed the hammer, I guess, and soon the happy multitude were all going to be as blue as anything . . .

Within five minutes the hall of Thrym was piled with broken corpses. You had to admit he was good – not smart, but a death machine on two legs. Men, women, servants, dogs. All fell beneath Mjølnir. And then, when the bloodlust subsided at last, we went back to Asgard together, not speaking a word until we arrived within sight of our battlements.

Freyja was waiting for us there. Thor gave her back her necklace.

Bragi was standing by with his lute. He said: ‘What’s Thrym like?’

‘Dead,’ said Thor.

‘And the in-laws?’

‘Dead,’ said Thor.

‘I guess you got your hammer back, then. That’s going to make a great ballad,’ he said. ‘Or a celebration chant. Or what would you say to a chorus, maybe in the Classical style?’

Thor turned his gaze on Bragi. Reaching out his big hand, he picked up the lute and wrung its neck.

‘If ever I hear a single note of a song about this,’ he said softly, ‘a song, or a poem, or even a limerick . . .’ He paused to drop the lute on the floor. There came a sad little splintering sound. ‘In fact,’ Thor said, ‘if you say another word, I’ll string you across the Rainbow Bridge and use your guts as a guitar. Is that clear?’

Bragi nodded, wide-eyed.

And that was the last time anyone dared to mention the episode again.

Lesson 7 Celebrity

LESSON 7

Celebrity

Killing your fans. Never the most efficient way to build on your public image.

Lokabrenna

AFTER THAT, QUITE SUDDENLY, Yours Truly became almost popular. I’d always been notorious, but now my fame spread through the Middle Worlds like a dose of wildfire. People loved that story – the business with Thor in the wedding veil, and Yours Truly disguised as a bridesmaid – and in spite of the fact that Bragi was under strict orders not to spread it around, it became a word-of-mouth success.