When they leave the funky old freeway and hit the streets they see that the city is terrifically densepacked. Most of the buildings are tenements. Every street is stopped up by cars and pedestrians; they can’t believe how many people are actually walking. Their hotel, old and dusty, is a welcome refuge. They chatter with excitement as they unpack and wait for the tour guide and driver to arrive and take them to Giza. Humphrey goes down to investigate currency exchange rates and comes back excited; there’s an official rate, a tourist rate, various black market rates, and some theft rates, designed to tempt greedy people into exposing lots of cash. With some manipulation of this market Humphrey figures he can generate hundreds of Egyptian pounds, and he is about to start with the hotel staff when their guide arrives. Off they go to the Pyramids of Giza.

The Pyramids are to the west, in a morass of hotels and shops. When they get out of their car they are inundated by street merchants and the guide can’t beat them away, especially with Humphrey asking about wholesale deals and the like. They dismiss their guide for saying “ThegreatandancientpyramidsofGiza” once too often, and walk up to the broad stone deck between pyramids one and two.

“Gee, they’re not all that big, are they?” says Humphrey. “Our office building is bigger.”

“You have to remember they were built by hand,” Jim objects, resisting a certain disappointment that he too feels.

Sandy sees a chance to kid him a bit and chimes in with Humphrey. “Man they’re nowhere near as big as South Coast Plaza. They’re not even as big as Irvine City Hall.”

“Kind of like the Matterhorn at Disneyland,” Humphrey says. “Only not as pretty.”

Jim is outraged. He gets even more distressed when he finds out no one is allowed to climb the Pyramids anymore. “I can’t believe it!”

“Unacceptable,” Sandy agrees. “Let’s try the backside.” They find guards on all sides of it, however. Jim is distraught. Their affronted guide retrieves them; it’s time for the sound and light show, apparently a major spectacle. Sunset arrives, and with it busloads of tourists to see the show.

Tonight’s show is in English, unfortunately. Between great sweeps of movie soundtrack romanticism a booming voice cracks out of twenty hidden speakers with a pomposity utterly unballasted by factual content. “THE PYRAMIDS … HAVE CONQUERED … TIME.” The laser lights playing across the Pyramids and the Sphinx use the latest in pop concert technology and aesthetics, including a star cathedral effect, some satellite beaming down thick cylinders of light, yellow, green, blue, red, bathing the whole area in a lased glow. Amazing display. “Never let them tell you there haven’t been useful spin-offs from the space defense technology,” Sandy growls.