“That’s a nice touch, all right.” Jim seems a bit down. He and Virginia looked to be in a heated discussion when Sandy walked in, and Sandy guesses they have been arguing again. Those two are not exactly the greatest alliance ever made; in fact they both keep saying it’s over, although it seems to be having a long ending. “Do you think you can drag yourself away from the Bard for a jaunt to La Jolla? My big-time friends have invited us to a party at their place.”

“Sure, I’ve got this at home.”

Sandy collects Arthur, Abe, Tashi. “Let’s see if we can get Humphrey to drive,” he says with his wicked grin.

They laugh; Humphrey keeps his electric bill down by driving as little as possible. He’s an almanac of all the shortest distances, he can give you the least expensive route between any two points in OC faster than the carbrains can. They approach him in a gang, Sandy says, “Humphrey, you’ve got a nice big car, give us a ride down to La Jolla and I’ll get you into a party there you won’t forget.”

“Ah, gee, what’s wrong with this one? Can’t ask for more, can you?”

“Of course you can! Come on, Humphrey.…” Sandy waves a fresh eyedropper of the Buzz, Humphrey’s favorite, in front of his eyes.

“Can’t leave your own party,” Humphrey starts to say, but founders in the face of the statement’s absurdity. Sandy steers him to the door, stopping for a quick kiss and an explanation for Angela. Remembering Jim and Virginia, he runs back in and kisses her again. “I love you.” Then they’re out, followed by Arthur, Abe, Tashi and Jim, who elbow each other and snicker as they all clump down the rarely used stairwell. “Think Humph’s got the coin slots installed on his car doors yet?” Abe asks under his breath, and they giggle. “Taxi meter,” Tashi suggests. “Better profit potential.”

“Subtler,” Arthur adds.

Humphrey, next flight down, says to Sandy, “Maybe we can all go shares on the mileage, huh?” The four above them nearly explode holding the laughs in, and when Sandy says, “Sure thing, Humphrey, and maybe we should figure out the wear on the tires, too,” they experience catastrophic failure and burst like balloons. The stairwell echoes with howls. Tashi collapses on the banister, Abe and Arthur and Jim crumple to the landing and take the next flight down on hands and knees. Humphrey and Sandy observe this descent, Humphrey perplexed, Sandy grinning the maniac’s grin. “You men are stoned.” Which lays them out flat. Maybe they are.

They scrape themselves off the floor in the parking lot and get in Humphrey’s car, carefully inspecting the door handles and the car’s interior. “What are you guys looking for?” Humphrey asks.

“Nothing, nothing. Can we go now? Are we gone yet?”