Me and Jax decided ages ago that’s actually the best and cleverest sentence in the world. One. Never. Knows. It’s actually so good that a whole bunch of people even made it into a motto. Which Jax found out when he was Googling cockney comedians, which led him to the history of the East End, which led him to the story of the Pearly Kings and Queens of London and their cool outfits and supergenius motto. Which shows you how cool Google is, because you end up finding out stuff you didn’t even know you were looking for and sometimes it’s even more useful than what you were looking for in the first place. A bit like Mum’s cooking. Jax says that’s called synchronicity, and I don’t even have to Google that because unless he’s telling proper on purpose lies for a good reason, Jax is always right.

Anyhow, one never knows means that no matter how much you think you know, even if you go to university and get honors in astrophysics and make a moped that can get you to Venus, which by the way was one of Jax’s actual ideas, minus the honors degree, the one thing you’ll never be able to know is the future. Not even what’s going to happen in the very next second. No matter how many guesses or phone-a-friends you had.

I know gazillions of people probably would have said one never knows before the Pearly Kings and Queens, but they helped loads and loads of poor people by turning it into their Pearly Motto. They believe you should always try to help those that aren’t as lucky as you and maybe don’t have stuff, like food, or their own room, or even a mum. Because you just never know what could happen tomorrow or next week or next year, and maybe one day it could be you that needs the help.

Jax reckons he might start the Pearly Kings of Penzance one day and that if you keep those three words in the back of your head that’s pretty much all you’ll ever need to be a good person. And I reckon he’s right. Except I don’t think most people have those words in the back of their head when they think of Jax. Because most people only see the side that gets him into trouble, and even though I know he does actually do a fair bit of naughty stuff, it’s a pretty big shame nobody ever really notices the good stuff.

Like here’s a for instance. Instead of eating the mini Crunchie bar his mum puts in his lunch box every day, he walks for an extra ten minutes in the morning to give it to this old lady who sits at the bus stop out the front of her bedsit on Bay Terrace and talks to herself. And every day, even though he’s been doing it for absolute ages, when he hands her the mini Crunchie bar she always looks at it like he’s just handed her an alien light saber and goes, what’s this? It cracks him up.