After we escaped from the Whiskey-a-Go-Go on the moped and we were sure nobody was following us James got us back to the Soft Fudge without even getting lost. Which was good because, number one, I was hoping that Mum and Leonard would be back there waiting for me, and number two, it meant I didn’t have to worry about James being a kidnapper or a pedo anymore. I mean, not that I was really, but it was good to be absolutely sure.

But even better than that was the actual ride back, because James rode that moped fast. And I mean really fast. We went down all these side streets and back alleys and took loads of squiggly turns, which actually did make me wonder if maybe he really was kidnapping me. But I decided I didn’t even mind because it was so much fun. Every time we’d turn a corner James yelled out something like, hold on tight yersel’, Normie lad, and I’d close my eyes, squeeze my arms around his tummy a bit tighter and imagine that I was Jax riding on his moped to Venus.

When we got back to the Soft Fudge, though, straightaway I knew nobody was there, because when I looked up to the window of the Caramel Suite there were no lights on. I knew Mum would have been waiting up and worrying about me if she was there, which made me very glad that I’d called James when I did instead of still being on my own worrying about her and wondering if she’d found Leonard.

James said we should go up anyhow just to check, but that there was no way he was going to leave me on my own in that neighborhood in a place that didn’t even have a lock on the front door. Which was fine by me. When we got upstairs I got the key from where I’d put it under the mat outside the room and everything inside looked exactly the same as when I’d left. Which was good, because it meant the drug dealers hadn’t broken in to steal our stuff and Leonard’s laptop, but bad because it meant that Mum was definitely still not back.

When I went to get my phone out of my pocket to try to call her I realized that somewhere between putting on my chef’s disguise, flying in through Slim’s office window and being on a high-speed, back-of-a-moped ride around Edinburgh it must have dropped out. So then James said that there was nothing else for it and I would have to come with him to his dad’s place, but we’d leave a note with his phone number so the minute Mum came back she’d know I was safe and she could call me.

It seemed like a good plan, and even though I was really worried about Mum, I knew she must have a very good reason for not getting back by six at the latest. Because she’d never break a promise on purpose and I know for a fact she never has. And I also knew that if she’d found Leonard, which I reckon she would have, he would definitely be looking after her and she’d be looking after him, because they’re both responsible adults.