“Did she also tell you I had a panic attack and had to go outside because of her? Did she mention she yelled at me in front of everyone? Did she mention she didn’t apologize? Called me a monster? I was there to paint with her, to help her. I love her so much and she’s so mean to me. I only want what’s best for her, for all of us.” I’m shaking again.

They talk all the time, David and Betsy. I know they do. Why isn’t she mad at David for being Mary’s biological dad? He’s the monster in our house. Instead, they’re both moving forward without me. I put my hands on the island, imitating his stance. For fun, I bang my hands on the counter and he jumps. Funny how his face looks when he’s scared. But why be scared of little ol’ me?

“Jane. Stop it. You need to take a breath. Can I get you some pills? Xanax or something? You have a bunch in the medicine cabinet.” David is dismissing me. He’s not afraid of me, I suddenly realize. He’s frustrated. I’ve stalked him all through our home, but he didn’t even notice.

“No, I don’t need drugs. I need answers. Honest answers. I’m so sick of this.”

David yawns. “I’m going to sleep.”

“I’m going to wait up for her.” I’m not tired. But if I do get sleepy, I’ll stay here on the couch. I don’t want to sleep next to him anyway. Not ever again.

David is halfway down the hall, a safe distance away, when he yells, “Leave her alone. That’s a bad idea.”

You were a bad idea.

After the pouting girlfriend was out of the way, after David and I had three wonderful and romantic dates, I decided it was time to sleep with him. Well, not sleep, but you know. The question was where. I couldn’t bring him to the low-life apartment complex where I lived, that was clear. I’d finally evicted my loser former boyfriend, Bobby, the guy who drove me from Arkansas to my dream of Hollywood. He thought we’d be together forever. He didn’t even know about all the guys I’d been dating since we arrived in Tinseltown. Boys are idiots, especially high school boys, and high school sweethearts just never work out. That’s what my mom told me. So of course we wouldn’t, but he didn’t know that at the time.