All this waiting time has me thinking, making sure I’ve planned everything correctly because it’s both Betsy’s and David’s special day today. And then I think about Mary, how I smashed her photo last night. And why.

At first, I thought David’s parents had broken the law, that they were the ones who connected Mary with Elizabeth James. But it was much closer to home than that. I suspected something terrible was being hidden from me when I overheard a snippet of conversation. I’d walked into the kitchen and David didn’t see me. Mary was away at USC, she’d been there a couple of months. David, Betsy, Kylie and I were back in Orange County, settling into what would be the new normal. I didn’t know Kylie’s name yet, but I knew she was there, like an itch you scratch but it still itches and you don’t know why. Much like I didn’t know about Bo yet, just that Betsy was drifting away from me.

Much like I didn’t know what secret Mary and David were keeping from me, but I knew it was a big one.

“I’ll be happy to pay for a DNA test, honey. But I don’t think you’ll need to go that route. I have an idea where to find her. But I don’t want you to get your hopes up. I’m not sure if she’s open to meeting you,” David said into the phone.

He didn’t know I was standing behind him, fists clenched. He didn’t know what I heard but he sensed me in the room. He turned and we locked eyes, his face flushed a bit. Only someone who has known him for more than twenty years would notice his unease, so of course I did.

“Your mom just walked in and I’ve got to head for my workout. Why don’t you call me at the office in the morning and we’ll get those classes straightened out? Yes, I know it’s important.” What a liar. “Love you, too, honey.”

After he hung up he looked at me. “Heading to the gym.”

“Yes, I heard. What did Mary need?” I resist the urge to put my hands on my hips. He could have handed the phone to me, let me speak to her. But they both hung up, guilty.

“Just some help scheduling classes. See you later.” David’s urgency to leave for “the gym” surprised me then. But of course, I didn’t yet know about his lover, she hadn’t taken form. She was still a guess, a hunch, an itch.

There were all sorts of secrets brewing in my house and I couldn’t stop them.