I watched Dylan play with Lumin. First his mother telling me he loved me. Now Rhonda. But I saw no sign of that. Plus it wasn’t what I was searching for … was it? I’d long accepted that horse had bolted.

Over the next couple of hours, as the children played, we all sat drinking tea and talking. It felt very civilised, much like that first Christmas I’d spent with them as they asked me about my job, about the village we lived in, how Lumin was getting on at school. I tried my best to answer, to smile, but I felt Dylan’s eyes burning into me, Rhonda’s words echoing in my mind.

The love of his life.

I suddenly caught Cole’s eye. Though he was sitting on the floor, playing with his daughter, he was watching me. When I caught his gaze, he quickly looked away.

I stood up. I needed some air. I checked on Lumin and she seemed happy enough, playing Hungry Hippos with Alfie, Glenn and Rhonda, all of them hooting with laughter.

‘Just popping to the loo,’ I said to Rhonda. ‘Can you keep an eye on Lumin?’

She smiled. ‘She’ll be fine. She’s with family.’

I smiled back at her and walked out. When I was out of sight, I leant against the wall, taking deep gulping breaths. It felt so overwhelming. And yet Lumin was fine, more than fine, happy. That was what mattered, wasn’t it? Now, not the past and all the regrets I had?

‘Gwyneth.’ I looked up to see Dylan softly closing the door of the living room, shutting the noise out. ‘Are you okay?’

I took a deep breath, trying to recover myself. ‘Sure, just needed a moment.’

‘I know how difficult this must be for you.’

‘And you,’ I said. ‘More for you.’

He looked down at the ground. ‘Yep.’

‘If you need to let all that pent-up anger out at me, this is the time to do it,’ I said, almost yearning for him to do just that. A chance for closure, to move past the guilt I felt.

He looked up at me again, his dark eyes blazing into mine. ‘Shall we take a walk? Lumin will be fine in there. In fact, I don’t even think she noticed we left the room.’

‘I need to let her know where I’m going.’

‘I told her already.’

I blinked. ‘Oh. Okay, sure.’ It felt strange, relinquishing control of my daughter.

I pulled my coat and boots on, and Dylan and I stepped out into the cold. I welcomed the feel of it on my face. The house had felt stifling, too hot and loud. I think Dylan felt the same as he breathed in the frigid air, closing his eyes.

‘Shall we walk to the mountain?’ he asked.