‘Cole and Rhonda had another boy.’ I thought of what I’d overheard Dylan saying to Cole, about their marriage being one of convenience.

‘I’ll think about it,’ I said. ‘I just don’t want to overwhelm her.’

‘I get it.’ But I could hear the disappointment in his voice.

When I broached the subject with Lumin, she jumped up from the dinner table in happiness, her eyes wide. ‘Yes! I want to meet my cousins!’

So that was decided. I was going back to Scotland.

Chapter Twenty-One

Gwyneth

Audhild Loch

22 December 1996

Memories of the Christmas I’d spent with the McCluskys all those years ago rushed at me as I drove up towards the lodge a couple of weeks after my phone call with Dylan. Mainly good memories, but as I took in the iced-over lake, I couldn’t help seeing Heather curled up amongst the shards there, skin turning blue. Then, suddenly, a flashback to being beneath the loch’s surface, scrabbling at the broken glass in terror, just before Dylan saved me.

‘Are you okay, Mummy?’ Lumin asked.

I blinked, looking at her concerned face. ‘Oh yes, just remembering last time I was here. How are you?’

Lumin did that thing she did when she was nervous, sucking her thumb and twirling her hair around her finger, looking out of the window without answering. That was answer enough, and it made the knot of angst already twisting in my stomach tighten even more. I had casually suggested that we could turn around and go home when I’d noticed how quiet she was getting, but she’d vehemently shaken her head. ‘I want to see Daddy.’ Yes, she was already calling him Daddy. To me, anyway – I hadn’t yet heard her call Dylan Daddy on the phone.

As we turned into the McCluskys’ private lane, I had to give way to a four-by-four. It passed and I recognised the two faces inside: Rosa and Gavin, the couple who had given me a lift to the train station. I smiled in greeting, wondering if they’d remember the bedraggled woman who’d turned up at their house seven Christmases ago. Rosa’s eyes widened then she nudged Gavin, pointing towards me. He turned to look at me, then Lumin, and his face turned to stone.

Strange couple.

As we drove past the loch, Lumin stared out at it. It wasn’t snowy like before, but the ice glistened on the surrounded grass and snow topped the mountain above. It must look so magical to a child.

Dylan appeared instantly at the door when we drew up. He looked unbearably handsome in a thick grey V-neck jumper and black cords, his beard having grown in the three months we’d seen each other last, his hair longer again too.