We quickly got dressed, grabbed our coats and pulled on our boots before running outside, thrashing past branches, stamping through snow until we got down the mountain and to the lake, the lodge to our left. At its banks were all the family apart from Mairi and Cole, who were clambering over the lake’s icy shards, heading towards a flash of blue amongst the white.

‘What the hell’s going on?’ Dylan shouted as he charged towards the loch.

‘It’s Heather,’ Alison mumbled, her mittened hands to her mouth, as she looked out at the loch. ‘She’s out there.’

‘In the loch?’ I asked, trying to find her amongst the shards. Had she fallen among the shards? Even worse, had she fallen through the lake, like I had? I followed their gaze back towards the blue coat. Yes, of course, she’d been wearing that coat earlier. Why on earth would she go out onto the lake then take it off?

‘Shit,’ Dylan whispered. He darted towards the lake and I wrapped my arms around myself as I watched him catch up with his mother and brother. When they got to Heather’s blue coat, Mairi wailed, falling to her knees and pulling what I could now see was Heather into her arms. Heather’s face was as white as the snow around her, her lips turning blue, her short black hair wet.

Dylan leant down and lifted his sister in his arms before standing back up and stamping through the lake with her as Mairi and Cole followed. When they reached the banks, they hurried into the house past me, Heather’s head lolling against Dylan’s arms.

‘An ambulance, call an ambulance!’ Mairi screamed over her shoulder.

We all ran inside, and Oscar grabbed a phone in the hallway with shaking hands as Dylan laid his sister by the fire, Cole grabbing some towels and placing them over her as her mother dried her. Heather let out a quiet moan then turned her head, her eyes alighting on mine, the pain and vulnerability in them so raw.

It took me back to another time when somebody had looked at me like that.

I backed away. I shouldn’t be here. I didn’t belong.

Chapter Eleven

Amber

The Lake District

22 December 2009

Amber watches Lumin peering out of the car window at the snow-topped peaks in the distance. They’ve been driving for over five hours up the M6 motorway, stopping once on the way. It’s been fun, listening to the radio and trying to figure out what music Lumin likes while eating boiled sweets to learn more about her tastebuds. Lumin is in high spirits. She has been since Amber visited her in the ward and whispered her plans to her.

‘I have a crazy idea,’ Amber had said in a hushed voice, adrenalin still buzzing through her from the decision she’d made the night before.