“I don’t see how those two things are connected.” I screwed the cap off my soda and took a bubbly sip.

“You’ve got to provide her with a non-disastrous wedding. You screwed one up, so she needs a substitute.

I rolled my eyes. “Well, I’m sorry, but my future holds no weddings. I have a new job I like. A new town I love. New work friends. I’ve made myself a nice little life out here, and it doesn’t feel any worse without a guy to share my bed with.”

“Is she trying to say she’s playing for the other team, now?” Lizzie asked.

“No,” I laughed. “I just mean I can be a complete person without someone else. It’s possible, you know.”

“You can’t give yourself oral, though,” Lizzie noted with a sly look.

“Pearl has always been kind of flexible,” Steph said, eyes narrowed. “Maybe that’s what it is. She can and that’s why she thinks giving up men is so easy.”

“Gross,” I said. “I just mean I’m not in a hurry, okay? Every time I’ve come anywhere near relationships, it has blown up on me like a bomb. I’m not exactly looking to poke that with a stick any time soon.”

“I still can’t believe it was fake between you and Dean,” Lizzie said. “You two were so cute together. Like, there really weren’t any feelings there?”

I hesitated. Steph knew the full truth, but I hadn’t really gone that deep with Lizzie yet. I wasn’t sure I wanted to, either. “It’s over now,” I said simply.

Steph gave me a look, which I ignored.

“Has he reached out to you at all?” Steph asked.

“I’m not sure. I blocked his number.”

Steph’s eyebrows shot up. “Damn. Harsh.”

I shrugged. “I’m not interested in hearing him apologize weeks later and string me along again. We needed a clean break. That’s what we got.”

Lizzie pursed her lips in thought. “It’s still sad. You guys definitely had chemistry. I wonder how it would’ve gone if you two started off for real instead of pretending.”

“No point wondering.” I was done with the conversation, so I picked up the remote and turned on the TV, cranking the volume up. My sisters both gave me a concerned look, but I handed them their drinks and took my spot on the couch. I started the movie and tried my best to let it distract me from thoughts about Dean.

I wondered when it would stop feeling so damn fresh when it came to him. When could I just move on? Really move on?

A little voice in my head whispered that time was “never”. I hoped it was wrong.

41

DEAN

One of the problems with having ungodly amounts of money was that I never really had to work. When the Pollards terminated my contract over the whole mess with Pearl and our fake relationship, I should’ve gone hunting for new clients.

I still had some contracts. I worked with a dog food company and their CEO on an “as needed” basis, which worked out to one or two meetings a month at most. Then there was the woman who was trying to start a winery and could only afford to do an occasional zoom call with me. There were little gigs like that, but I didn’t have anything as involved as my time at Pollard had been. I knew I could’ve gone out and advertised myself if I wanted, but my heart wasn’t in it.