“Yeah, there’s a new one for you, but he’s like you in that he has this uncanny way of making me talk about things I’ve had locked up tight on the inside for so long. Then all of a sudden, I’m telling him things, and by saying them out loud, there are pieces to a puzzle that I didn’t know were missing and that start to click into a place where there has been a hole in me for a long time. I know that all sounds weird, but Forrest helped me to see that my father didn’t leave because he didn’t care about his family. I think it might have been the opposite, that it was because he loved us so much and wanted to protect us. That’s what started to soften my feelings for my father and see him in a different light. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still angry at him and hurt by what he did, but I don’t hate him with the venom that I once did.”

“That’s a really great start, and I think you are on the right track with that. We will continue to work through that in a few more sessions.” Pausing, she then says the words I’ve been dreading. “Now, let’s talk about Forrest.”

“Do we have to?” I pretend to complain like a child.

“Isn’t that why you’re here?” She shrugs her shoulders at me.

“Is it?” Again, my humor is there, trying to protect me from sharing my pain.

“You tell me, Harper. Do you want to admit to yourself that you love him and want more, or can you live like this for the rest of your life? That’s a choice only you can make. Not even Forrest has the power to decide that for you, as much as I’m sure he thinks he does. What do you really want to get from all this, Harper?” Cherie’s watching me as I wrestle with the words in my head, trying to get them to make sense before I answer.

“To love and be loved without fear.” I look at her, and the tears spring back to my eyes.

“Then I think Forrest’s a great place to start, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes.” I run my hands along my thighs to try to stop my leg bouncing that has started, and all I can think of is Forrest’s hand that would steady me when things got hard.

“I want to be able to go back him as a whole woman and not because I need him. He deserves a love that is more than that. And for the first time in my life, I want to be the one to give him that.” I gulp down the discomfort that has come with such honesty.