Felisha is standing outside her office waiting for us, and as I approach, she holds her arm out and I link mine inside it. It’s our equivalent of a bro hug without actually hugging.

I’m going to miss that the most. His touch.

I was just getting used to how good it felt to be held in his arms and not feeling like I was drowning in pain.

But now it’s all gone, and it hurts so deep.

It’s for the best, but it doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

Maybe it’s time I let Felisha in that little bit more into my life and start to reach out and connect on that deeper level of touch. And although she is a friend, she is the closest person I have to me, even above my family. So surely, I should be able to let her hug me.

The thought settles in my head, and I’m determined to try it, but just not tonight.

I’m so emotionally drained that I’m not sure how I’m still functioning. I just want to shower and crawl into bed to sleep.

And that thought is enough to have my heart racing inside my chest.

How the hell am I supposed to sleep when Forrest isn’t there to keep me safe?

Well, you were the idiot who pushed him away, so now you are about to find out.

This sounds like fun… not.

FORREST

I feel like I’ve already lived a day, and now I have to stay awake for another twelve hours, as it’s daytime in Chicago when I land.

If I’m being honest, I’m not ready to sleep anyway. I’m too keyed up. The plane was the perfect chance to nap, but I worked the whole trip to keep my mind busy. I didn’t need time to think about what Harper was doing. Is she okay, has anything happened that I need to know about?

I was never so relieved to turn on my phone and for there to be only message notifications from all the boys and normal work issues. Thankfully, the boys’ messages weren’t ones that they’d be expecting replies on, but were merely just to give me support, which means more than they know.

Luckily, I’ve been to the US a few times for work in the last twelve months, so I didn’t need to be trying to get a visa at such late notice. Going through immigration in any country is usually not too painful because we are flying in on a private jet, but being on a commercial jet, I’m here with three hundred-odd other passengers who are also trying to get through at the same time. I don’t think I fully appreciated the life of comfort I have been living, until now.