I wouldn’t even know what to do in one of those rooms, so what the hell was I thinking saying that?

I flop face-down on the bed and just wish I could close my eyes, count to ten, and start this day all over again, because the number of holes I have dug myself into today is ridiculous, and tomorrow I need to work out how to get back out of them.

Pretend like it never happened. Yes, that sounds like the best plan.

Not like Forrest is going to bring it up, with the way I embarrassed him when I said it.

Far out, Harper, how do you get yourself into these situations?

Snap out of it and get this under control. Tomorrow is a new day. Get it together, bitch, and start acting like you can handle this, because nothing ever keeps you down.

And this won’t either.

Chapter Five

HARPER

Waking up with a start, my face is wet with tears, my whole body soaked with sweat.

Shit, I haven’t had these dreams for so long that it makes me want to vomit at the thought of being right back at square one.

My mind runs over the same old things as I remember every part of the dream which became my nightmare last night.

“Daddy!” I run to the front door as I hear it open.

I’ve been waiting all day for him to come home and celebrate my thirteenth birthday.

I’m a teenager finally, and I don’t have to be in bed before eight thirty now. Amanda is going to be so jealous that I get to stay up later and she has to go to bed early, and Rachel doesn’t count because she is still a baby.

“My little snuggle bug.” He drops his briefcase at the door as I launch myself into his arms, and he twirls me around in the air. “Happy birthday, my beautiful Harper.” Coming to a stop, he kisses me on the top of my head as I get the best dad cuddle. For as long as I can remember it has always been Dad who gives the hugs and is the fun parent. I love my mum just as much, but she is the parent at home who does the day-to-day things we need. As I get older, I can see maybe she is so tired, and that’s why she doesn’t have as much time to laugh and spin us around in the air like Dad does.

Pulling back from me, he looks down with the straightest face. “So, ten years old today, double digits?” he questions me.