“You ran, but it’s his fault? Don’t you think that’s unfair?” And for the first time, I land a punch into her chest, because I’m mad at her now too.

“No. I told him it was just sex, nothing more. He agreed, but he lied. It all changed, and I couldn’t stop it no matter how hard I tried,” I scream.

“What changed, Harper?”

“Him, me, everything. He did what I told him not to. He fucking fell in love with me.” The anger in me at that statement shows as I start pushing at her harder.

“And why is that an issue?”

“Because I’m not worthy of anyone’s love. I’m just not enough.”

“Enough what?” Cherie yells at me as she starts throwing her legs out at me a little too, and I’m trying to move around the mat away from her all the time, plus dodge her punches.

“Enough of anything! To love enough, to want enough to make an effort, enough that I’m worth fighting for.” I can feel the more I yell, that tears are coming to my eyes, and I don’t want that, but I can’t stop it. My body is starting to ache, and my brain is screaming at me, but it’s my heart that is starting to cry. And with the first sob that leaves my mouth, the words I have been holding so close to my heart are rolling off my tongue.

“To love me enough to stay.” Another sob follows that one, and I know I’m in trouble. She has broken the lock, and for the first time, I have told someone my greatest fear. Stopping and standing still, Cherie just lets that sink in for me. And it fucking hurts.

The water is streaming down my face, and I can’t stop it because my clenched fists are frozen in the air in front of me, ready to fight off the world.

Cherie takes a step closer to me and gently pushes my hands down so my arms are now just hanging by my side. “And how does that make you feel?” Her voice is soft and full of compassion.

“Worthless and broken,” I whisper.