I want to call his name, plead with him to stay, to choose me, but instead, he walks away into the night, and the snow starts swirling. But I don’t want to chase him this time. Because I know he is doing what he feels is best for us all. It won’t be, but he doesn’t know that.

But as the snowstorm starts to ease a little, instead, it’s me standing outside and the flakes are landing on my bare arms. My feet standing in the freezing snow are stuck in one place, and I can’t feel a thing. Why do I feel so cold? Normally by now there is that blanket feeling wrapping around me and the tears don’t hurt so much. Tonight, it’s different. Where is he, why isn’t he coming for me?

Looking up to my window, I see his silhouette. Watching me, with his arms crossed over his chest. Not moving or speaking. Just still and not an ounce of life in his eyes. It’s like he has been stripped of emotion, and I know I did that. I just want that hug, one last time before I walk away.

“Forrest,” I call to him, but he can’t hear me. It’s like he is looking straight through me. Like I don’t exist to him anymore.

“Forrest, please, I need you.” I’m screaming, but as I drop to my knees, he reaches out and closes the curtains, and all the light that was left shining is gone.

It’s so dark, cold, and I feel the wetness on my face.

I’m all alone again.

And I have no one to blame but myself.

There are voices now around me, and I can hear them, but I don’t want to open my eyes. I can’t. I’m in the darkness where it hurts, but it’s familiar, and I’m getting sick of trying to break free anymore.

“Should I call him?” Flynn’s deep voice echoes around in my head.

“No. She won’t want that. We just have to wait it out and be here for her.” Felisha’s sweetness is familiar, and I feel like she has been in my dreams before. But it’s not as soothing as before.

“This is cruel. She needs him. I’m calling Forrest,” Flynn demands, but again she stops him.

“No, she has made the choice to fight this on her own. You need to let her,” Felisha pleads with him.

I can feel her presence, but she doesn’t hold me.

“It’s okay, Felisha, you can touch me, I’ve learned I won’t break,” I tell her, but she can’t hear me.

And the world starts to fade to black again, and the voices are gone.

I’m so weak, but at least I’m about to start sleeping now.

* * *