“I get that. There’s something deep inside a man that wants to make life easier for the ones he loves. It doesn’t mean taking a career away from them but just providing for them whatever they need so they can be the best they can be too.” His words are circling in my head.

“Life is different now. Most women work in some capacity, and it’s not just about the need to; it’s self-satisfying to have a job or forge a career, whatever you choose to do. And for some, that job they choose is to care for their family and be the best parent they can, and I think that’s awesome too. The most important thing in the current age is that there should always be choice, for both men and women. There are some awesome stay-at-home dads out there who are rocking that job.” I let out a little giggle at the thought that just jumped into my head. “I can picture Flynn as a stay-at-home dad. It would be total chaos, but he would be good at it, and the kids would love every minute of it.”

“Oh, I don’t even want to think about that man-child having children of his own. Not sure the world could take more of Flynn’s genes in it.” We both continue to laugh and feel sorry for Felisha if they ever decide to have kids. It’s a hard no for me, but I can see the longer Felisha is with Flynn, he is softening her, and it’s beautiful to watch.

“So, did you get to spend much time with him when he wasn’t working?” Forrest brings me back to what we were talking about before being distracted by the visions of his crazy brother.

I spend what feels like an hour pouring out so many memories of the father I knew and not the man I had demonized in my head since he walked out on us. Forrest sits there and listens so intently, sometimes sharing a little of his life but always managing to steer me back to my childhood. The more words that come out, the lighter I feel.

Just as I feel like I’m all talked out, Forrest stands and holds his hand out to me.

“Bedtime?” I ask as I stand.

“No. Dance with me under the stars,” he says, pulling me into his arms. “The darkness can be a peaceful place if you let it.” Taking his phone from his pocket, he pulls up his music, and the sweet tunes of “Ordinary” by Alex Warren softly start filling the night around us.

I know Forrest’s words always mean more than just words. Everything he says has a purpose. And right now, that purpose is to free me from the weight that I have dragged around with me for half of my life.