“I’ve been so angry for so long that I couldn’t see through the rage. But it meant that I had also forgotten about a life that I loved before then. I don’t know if that’s right or wrong. Should I stay mad or try to forgive him? Maybe it will help with the nightmares.” Still looking out at the water, so many feelings are rushing forward in my head. I don’t know why it chose now to happen, but I don’t think I could stop if I tried.

“There’s no answer to that, but it also means there is no magic set of rules about how to navigate such a life-changing event either. You did what you needed to at the time. Be kind to yourself, Harper, and don’t overthink your past actions.” His words are like a warm blanket being wrapped around me.

“How do you always seem to know the right thing to say to me?” Setting eyes on him, he looks at me with such compassion that stokes the fire in me that has been just under the surface all night.

“I don’t know. I just let my heart speak, and let me assure you, that’s new to me too.” His contemplative look shows me that we are both in uncharted waters here.

I want nothing more than to crawl into his lap and let the night breeze take away all my thoughts for me, but I’m learning since meeting Forrest that talking is actually far more productive in helping me deal with this.

The faint noise of the water hitting the distant shore is carried on the wind, and it’s so peaceful.

“Tell me about him, your father. What was he like when you were growing up?”

If he’d asked me this question a few weeks ago, it would have caused me to arch up and tell him my life is none of his business and not to speak about my father again, but tonight, I want to answer him. That may change tomorrow, but tonight, I feel my father close by, and I want to share him with Forrest.

Taking another sip of my scotch, I start to sift through my favorite memories that I haven’t allowed me to think of for a long time.

“He worked hard. I would hear him and my mum sometimes talking about how maybe she should find a job so he didn’t have to work so much. But he would always shut that down straight away. He said it was his job to provide for his girls. But it was never in a domineering way, more in a loving way. He was proud of what he was achieving.”

Thinking about what I have just said, I can understand now the sheer devastation he must have felt at letting us down when his world fell apart. Everything he lived for was gone, including his family.