“Why is everything falling apart?” I whisper into the night. No answer comes, and it’s then I understand that if I’m ever going to grow past this, I need to face it head-on.

Tossing and turning in my bed, I try to calm my irrational brain, but it’s not working. Watching the clock on my phone, it’s been over an hour since I woke up screaming, and it feels like the longest night of my life.

So many questions are running through my head.

If he has been lying with me every night, why didn’t I feel him there? Why did I feel so calm every morning when I woke and not remember the dream? Why do I let him touch me like that, hug me, and not get that awful sick feeling that I have had since the day my dad left me?

I know what I need to do, and as hard as this is, the only person who can give me the answers is the man that I sent away. Something deep in my soul aches for him to hug me, and I don’t know what to do with that feeling either.

I throw the covers back, swinging my legs over the side of the bed, and I sit for a moment, trying to talk myself out of this. It’s a bad idea, yet I can’t see any other way to move forward.

Pushing up off the bed, my toes sink into the soft carpet, and I slowly start moving toward the door.

Opening it, I see that Forrest has left his open. Did he do this every night waiting for me to scream? Why am I punishing a man who just wants to help me? He hasn’t hurt me like my father, yet I’m putting him in the same category as I do every man I meet. They are to be used, kept at a distance, and remain the enemy. That way they can’t hurt me like my dad did.

But Forrest isn’t trying to hurt me, it’s the opposite, where I think he cares for me more than I know how to handle.

Stopping in the doorway to his room, I can see his silhouette lying flat on his back. His bedroom curtains are open, and it’s a full moon. The light is enough to see his face, and his eyes are open just looking at me, but he doesn’t say anything. I don’t either. But I know I need to.

The moment I get the courage to open my mouth, he flicks the covers back on the side of the bed closest to me and puts his arms out for me. My heart is racing, while my head is questioning if I can do this.