“Wait, what are you doing in my bed? Why are you hugging me? What is happening?” I start yelling and trying to push away from him, but he won’t let me.

“Harper, stop!” His deep, harsh voice makes me halt and look at him. “I have been holding you in your sleep every night since your first nightmare.” He looks at me, waiting for my reaction, but I can’t process what he is saying.

“You’ve been in my bed every night with me and didn’t tell me? How dare you, get out.” I push against him again, and this time he lets me. “Get out, get out, get out!” I’m screaming and crying at the same time.

Scrambling backward, he stands next to the bed.

“Just breathe, Harper, just breathe.” His hands are up, trying to calm me.

“Breathe? Don’t you tell me to fucking breathe. You have been in my bed every night and I had so fucking idea. What the actual fuck, Forrest.” I can’t process this.

“Let me explain.” He tries to gain my attention, but I’m too busy losing my mind over what he just said.

“No. Just leave. I can’t hear it right now.” Deep down, my heart is telling me to let him talk because there is no way he would hurt me, but my stomach is in that anxiety roll where it won’t stop.

“I’m not leaving you like this when you are so upset.” He is almost grinding his teeth with the annoyance that he is trying to hold back.

“You don’t get to make that decision. Leave or I will, and I’m not coming back,” I bellow at him as I grip my knees up against my chest, holding myself so tight.

“You can’t fight this on your own, Harper, let me help you.” He is almost begging me now, but my fight-or-flight is at its peak, and I can’t even think clearly. So, lashing out is my default.

“I don’t need you,” I scream at him, and the moment the words leave my lips, I can see the hurt written all over his face, like I have just slapped him hard.

“Keep telling yourself that, Harper, but we both know that’s not true. You know where to find me.” He walks out of my room, closing the door behind him, and I break out into sobs and let out all the fear of the dream, the pain of being in the dark in my own life, and most of all, remorse over hurting Forrest. Strangely enough, that’s the thing that hurts the most.

I pull my bear from the floor next to my side of the bed where he had fallen when I fell asleep and hug him, but for the first time, he doesn’t bring me any relief.