Back The Ash Doll
Chapters (74)
  1. Cover
  2. Praise
  3. Dedication
  4. Epigraph
  5. Chapter 1
  6. Chapter 2
  7. Chapter 3
  8. Chapter 4
  9. Chapter 5
  10. Chapter 6
  11. Chapter 7
  12. Chapter 8
  13. Chapter 9
  14. Chapter 10
  15. Chapter 11
  16. Chapter 12
  17. Chapter 13
  18. Chapter 14
  19. Chapter 15
  20. Chapter 16
  21. Chapter 17
  22. Chapter 18
  23. Chapter 19
  24. Chapter 20
  25. Chapter 21
  26. Chapter 22
  27. Chapter 23
  28. Chapter 24
  29. Chapter 25
  30. Chapter 26
  31. Chapter 27
  32. Chapter 28
  33. Chapter 29
  34. Chapter 30
  35. Chapter 31
  36. Chapter 32
  37. Chapter 33
  38. Chapter 34
  39. Chapter 35
  40. Chapter 36
  41. Chapter 37
  42. Chapter 38
  43. Chapter 39
  44. Chapter 40
  45. Chapter 41
  46. Chapter 42
  47. Chapter 43
  48. Chapter 44
  49. Chapter 45
  50. Chapter 46
  51. Chapter 47
  52. Chapter 48
  53. Chapter 49
  54. Chapter 50
  55. Chapter 51
  56. Chapter 52
  57. Chapter 53
  58. Chapter 54
  59. Chapter 55
  60. Chapter 56
  61. Chapter 57
  62. Chapter 58
  63. Chapter 59
  64. Chapter 60
  65. Chapter 61
  66. Chapter 62
  67. Chapter 63
  68. Chapter 64
  69. Chapter 65
  70. Chapter 66
  71. Epilogue
  72. Acknowledgements
  73. About the Author
  74. Extract from The Mayfly

The girls are all the same in the book. They all have long, flowing hair, bright blue eyes and waists so slim that they dissolve into nothing at all. The girl checks her own waist. She cannot reach her fingers all the way around so they meet comfortably like the woman tells her she ought to, but the distance is short and, if she breathes in, she is more or less there.

The woman is not like the fairy godmother in the book, the girl knows this. Sometimes the woman pretends to be. She tells the girl she is not her mother, and the girl is not her responsibility and she wants to help the girl. But she never does. The next day, the woman is cold and distant.

Sometimes, the girl can hear the woman and the man talking.

There is a vent at the foot of the wall the size of a letter box. There must be some system of pipework in the wall connected to another room because, when the wind is still, the girl can hear the man and woman’s muffled voices drift through to the room. If she places her ear right against the vent, she can just about make out their conversation.

The girl shuts the book – the vent is calling to her. She can hear them. She gets down on all fours like a cat stretching in the sun. Listens. The sound is faint and she has no idea where it comes from – it might as well be from another world.

‘You’re drinking too much,’ says the woman’s voice, unsteady.

‘What does it matter?’ the man replies.

‘You’re a liability.’

He coughs and splutters. Calms. Rasps, ‘There’s no one for miles. What we do in here is our business.’

She snorts. There is silence for a while, except a shuffling sound, like paper being moved around. Then she says, ‘Someone will come looking for her one day, you know.’

‘No. They won’t.’

‘How can you be so sure?’

The girl holds her breath. They mean her – they’re talking about her. It is the first time she has heard them talk about her, acknowledge her.

Her heart skips a beat.

‘Because her bitch of a mother had no one, and now she’s dead,’ he says. ‘No one knows the girl exists. And she doesn’t. Exist, I mean.’

‘She’s real enough when I go and see her.’

‘Well then let her out!’ he shouts, angry. The girl pulls away, startled. ‘Open the door and watch her leave if you’re so fucking bothered.’ There is silence for a short while. ‘No. Not that easy, is it?’

There is silence for a moment. The girl strains to hear.

‘There are others, aren’t there.’ She says it quietly. Her voice is laced with venom.

He is indignant, retorts instantly: ‘What do you mean?’

‘You know what I mean. Others.’