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Back The Actresses
Chapters (51)
  1. Cover
  2. THE ACTRESSES
  3. About The Actresses
  4. Contents
  5. Dedication
  6. Epigraph
  7. 1
  8. 2
  9. 3
  10. 4
  11. 5
  12. 6
  13. 7
  14. 8
  15. 9
  16. 10
  17. 11
  18. 12
  19. 13
  20. 14
  21. 15
  22. 16
  23. 17
  24. 18
  25. 19
  26. 20
  27. 21
  28. 22
  29. 23
  30. 24
  31. 25
  32. 26
  33. 27
  34. 28
  35. 29
  36. 30
  37. 31
  38. 32
  39. 33
  40. 34
  41. 35
  42. 36
  43. 37
  44. 38
  45. 39
  46. 40
  47. 41
  48. About Barbara Ewing
  49. Also by Barbara Ewing
  50. An Invitation from the Publisher
  51. Copyright

‘And I could see that I couldn’t keep moving and moving her for my own satisfaction. Over and over again they told me it was best that I kept away. I was twenty-four years old and they seemed so much older and wiser than me and I felt so much to blame. And of course I knew I must do what was best for her, not what was best for me. I still thought it was only temporary. But after about a year I saw – that they meant it to be permanent.’ Nobody in the court could miss the pain in the voice of the man in the dock.

‘You support her?’

‘Yes.’

‘You have supported her since that accident in nineteen sixty-one?’

‘Yes. Of course. For years I thought that she would be better. But the years just – drifted into each other, and nothing seemed to change. Finally the psychiatrist told me that she would never get better, that she would have to live in a hospital for the rest of her life, and that if I loved her I would leave her alone. That that would be the way I could prove my love for her.’

Terence’s voice faltered. He was silent for a moment but his barrister simply waited and when Terence spoke again his tone was again flat and unemotional, as he had tried so hard to keep it throughout his evidence. ‘After about – fifteen years I got a divorce. I never actually saw her, and finally it seemed – only quixotic to stay married after all that time. It seemed that I needed to get on with a life of my own and leave my – my wife to hers. And that seemed to – be the end of it.’

‘Although you still supported her?’

‘Of course.’

‘And she was released into the, um, care of the community at the beginning of this year?’

‘You know the current thinking,’ said Terence and a note of bitterness crept into his voice. ‘In April of this year the manager of the hospital wrote to me, said that it was now – accepted psychiatric practice to try and integrate even long-term patients into the community. We – we had a house in Brighton that became hers after the divorce, I wanted her to be able to sell it for financial security if she ever needed to. But they said she would be living there. Living in that house.