‘I thought it was a terrible idea, it was in Brighton where everything happened, I went to see them at once. But the same old psychiatrists were still there, including the owner, the one I had attacked, he said I had no rights over her, that I had been divorced from her for years and that she was his responsibility not mine. He said they knew what was best for her and that there were very good community psychiatric nurses in Brighton who could help her better than I could ever hope to. And – and he said I could not see her, even then, asked me specifically not to try and see her, that’s why the hospital had got in touch with me he said. He said, even now, even thirty years later, I would be damaging to her, and I couldn’t help feeling that he – he had got in touch with me to – still remind me that I was to blame. He said that it was best to let her – rebuild her life. Best for her. He didn’t want me he said hanging about Brighton, that’s how he phrased it exactly.’

‘And you minded about this.’

‘Of course!’ For the first time Terence’s blue eyes flashed. ‘Of course I minded, and I hit him again.’ There was a murmur of something – approval? laughter? – around the court, quickly silenced by a look from the judge. Terence seemed not to have heard.

‘I always thought, all those years, that I would at least see her again one day, somehow be able to talk to her –’ and he hesitated for a moment ‘– explain things. You see she was unconscious for a long time, months, and – we never talked afterwards. We never ever talked after the – accident. I wanted to talk to her. Finally I asked if I could at least send a car, help her to move to Brighton. They said it wasn’t necessary, everything had already been organised.’ Terence’s voice had become almost inaudible but suddenly it became angry and strong.

‘I wondered at the time why the psychiatrist hadn’t had me charged with assault this second time. Then I found that the bastard had already sold the hospital for millions to a sports club and that all the patients were being moved out, community care or not. He went to live in the south of France I believe. Don’t suppose he wanted any publicity.’

‘And your – affliction began? Then, in the spring?’

‘Yes. It was as if – even thirty years later – I had somehow failed her still. And this feeling of absolute failure –’ he made a tired little gesture with his hand ‘– manifested itself physically, in the way you now know. In the way –’ and he grimaced to himself ‘– in the way everybody now knows.’

‘And continued?’

‘Yes.’

‘So the night you went to the Dorchester with Simone Taylor you could not have raped her.’